Wanted or Not
by SugarhogRose
Summary: Sequel to taken by an angel...Dedicated to daneliz'.Amy is keeping something from Sonic and it could cause serious tears. Will he ever find out about this and her feelings concerning the past? Diary format so short chapters but lots of them hopefully R
1. Entry 1

**_Hey, I'm back.  
Now for any of you people who have read: Taken By An Angel,But Taken Too Soon. This is a sequel to it as such. It takes place two years after the one-shot.  
Hope you like it, please read and review! =D  
Wanted or not is dedicated to my new friend- daneliz'. Hope she likes it!  
_****_Sorry for the shortness but it's a diary so there will be lots of enteries XD_**

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**Wanted or Not**

**Dear diary,**

Ever since that tragic incident I've been recording my thoughts in here. Almost every day. Sort of religiously, you could say. It helps me express my feelings and explore them further. But anyway, as I was saying, I've been in writing here at least once every day. Except yesterday, but forgive me. You see if you had also gained the same news I had yesterday afternoon, you too would have found it hard to write. But instead of writing, I cried. I just sat a cried like a baby. Oh baby. Funny I should say that, considering.

Oh no, Sonic coming. I really shouldn't be hiding this from him, especially because he is my husband and has been for the last 5 years. However, some things are just better kept inside. Until the right time, if there is such a thing. For this subject I'm not so sure.

I'll try to write later,  
Amy Rose x


	2. Entry 2

**Hey people. Sorry it's been a while- homework's keeping me busy *awwww* lol  
Here's the second entry in Amy's diary and if you're wondering what is bothering her so much? And what's the secret, the one no-one - not even Sonic- knows about?  
Continue reading to find out...  
****Dedicated to my good friend (and also the other half of -our joint account)- _Daneliz' _=3  
I'll shut up now and let you read, lol. Hope you enjoy!!!!**

Dear Diary,

Well I awoke this morning feeling great, not. I barely slept at all. You see today it has been two years, two years since my baby was taken away. I have gone through Elisabeth Kübler-Ross' five stages of grief except one –acceptance. I am no longer angry or depressed. I'm no longer bargaining with myself and I'm not in denial, anymore. But I have not accepted the fact that she is gone!

Sonic, dear love him, is trying really hard not to say or do anything that might upset me today. He even made, okay attempted to make, me breakfast in bed. I felt total guilt when I brushed the pancakes around the edge of my plate, but I could not stomach it. His face dropped and everything.  
" I know it's a little burnt and probably got too much sugar and lemon juice on, but... it's the thought that counts, right?" He asked me. What was I meant to say- yes it's burnt and the flavour is sickening? I can't believe that this is you 12th attempt at making them? Why bother?

But I couldn't say that (and not just because they actually tasted okay, because they actually did. Well the bite that I tried) because I love him and he's right, it is the thought that counts. Furthermore it's not just me who's suffering. That's why I hugged him and forced down one pancake, for that was all I could manage without puking everywhere.

After breakfast I got into the shower. A cold one I may add. For the bitterness of the temperature washes away the ache in my heart for this day. Her anniversary. Eternity's anniversary.

I went to the grave. Though not alone, Sonic came with me. It was covered in fresh flowers and a new teddy, one that was not worn out due to the weather like the other one. The new teddy bear is from Cream and Tails. We added a bunch of mixed flowers; we could not make up our mind. Once the flower had been laid we left. But no before saying Happy Birthday to our child.

I still haven't told him, but that's okay. For me it is, anyway. I mean what am I meant to say?

Oh I've got to go, Sonic's calling me. Shadow's here to see me or something.

Amy Rose x

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**Read and review please *puppy dog eyes/puss-in-boots from _Shrek_(if you know what i mean)* =3**


	3. Entry 3

**Hey, the next entry is up =D  
Hope you enjoy it!  
The plot of the story is starting to come out, very slowly though.  
Hopefully- for any of those who are confussed as to her secret- all will be revealed in the next few entries =D But no promises, sorry *dodges sharp objects and evil glares =* P.s that's ment to be an angry face but it looks more like a baby with a dummy =3  
Anyway- i'll stop chatting about random things and let you read.  
So without further ado... i present to you:ENTRY THREE lol**

Dear Diary,

Aw, that was sweet of Shadow. Coming all this way to see how we were doing, considering. Shadow really has been a great friend. I'm really glad he became a member of Sonic Team. I do have to admit that everyone was slightly judgemental of him in the first week or so, everyone except me that is. But it was a peculiar experience for us all, including Shadow.

At any rate I was writing in here, when Sonic called me down saying Shadow was here to see me. So I closed my diary and went down the stairs. They were both waiting for me in the living room, sat on the black couch.

I decorated the room but Sonic helped by painting it and wallpapering the feature wall. The paint is a light purple and the wallpaper is a slightly brighter purple swirly design on a white background. Our two sofas are black and very comfy. They both have silver and amethyst cushions. Resting on the mantelpiece, which is above the fire, is a small vase containing a single white rose and a two photo frames either side of it, containing our friends. Above the mantelpiece is a large canvas, with Sonic holding me up bridal style in my wonderful baby pink meringue dress and him in his white suit. The water- from the sea -lapping at his feet and the sun about to set. The picture is one from our wedding day.

Anyway I walked into the room and found the pair sat on the sofa. Shadow, at my arrival, stood up and presented me with a bunch of flowers. They were similar to the ones we had gotten for Eternity's grave. I thanked him and then he asked me how I was holding up.  
"Okay, considering." Were the words my mouth spoke out. I myself didn't know I could actual talk at that moment - my throat felt dry then numb, like it was closing up. My eyes began to water and I could not control a stray tear from falling.

Seeing this Sonic zoomed over to embrace me... but instead he was too slow because I was soon surrounded by Shadow's strong arms. I couldn't control my body as I became fragile, fatigue and emotional. I soon fell into his hug, becoming numb. It would of appeared that nothing, nothing at all, could of comforted me, yet somehow in Shadow's arms I felt everything was gone and it was... it was, nice- to have all my problems gone.

It didn't, like most good things, last for long. I was soon pulled back to the sharp bitterness of reality. Shadow released his firm hug on me, once insuring that I could stand just fine on my own two feet.  
"Anyway, the reason I'm here is to invite you over to my house for dinner. Don't worry though, as Cream is cooking it-not me! I'll understand if you don't want to come but, well everyone else is. Plus we only want to know if you are okay. So, are you coming?" Shadow enquired. I looked at Sonic and he nodded, so off we went to get dinner-not that I was hungry but I could enjoy everyone's company. Plus I really did need to eat something, even if it was only a few bites. Something told me in that state I wouldn't be eating that much.

Dinner was good. I actually ate it all and not just to be polite, I enjoyed it. Everyone had wine with there's though, except me. When questioned on it I said I had a headache and it seemed to work, well no-one said anymore about it. Although I'm sure Rouge could tell something was up, but it could have been my imagination. But there might not even be anything up, I'm not sure yet. Thankfully she didn't verbalise her suspicions.

The rest of the night was also good; we played some games like charades and even DDR (dance dance revolution). Oh and who could forget karaoke- especially when their husband gets up and sings with the rest of the guys, _man I feel like a women_. But in all fairness it was Knuckles who had dragged them all up and he was clear drunk due to a few beers Shadow had provided. It was clear that they were trying to keep our minds of a certain anniversary and I was grateful for it.

Soon the night ended, as expected, and Sonic picked me up and he ran us all the way home. I felt myself snuggle up to his warm chest- my ear pressed against it- listening to his steady heartbeat. I don't know what it is, about the thumping of this organ, that calms me so but it sure does work. It doesn't work on anyone else- I'm not calmed by their heartbeat. The cold air began hitting me at such a speed, I couldn't help but shiver. Sonic noticed this and set me down onto the ground. Taking of his own jacket as I looked at him in totally confusion as to why we had stopped. My silent question soon answered when I felt his jacket surround my body. The jacket way to big but that didn't matter. He picked me up and set off again at a faster speed, racing to get home. I snuggled closer into him and his jacket. Within second we arrived at our cosy home and I departed off to our bed.

Which is where I'm currently sat, writing. I'm going to go to sleep now but I can hear footsteps, Sonic's footsteps. Hopefully he is coming to bed and I can, for about the third time this evening, cuddle up close to him.

I'll write tomorrow. Maybe by then I would have told him about this secret, but probably not.

Amy Rose x

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**Please Review and tell me what you think =D *puppy dog eyes* ^.^**


	4. Entry 4

**Entry 4 is now up! Wow, i think that is the fastest i've ever updated =D Lol  
Hope you like it.  
And the secret is being given away, very slowly, to the audience. In this entry it's being revealed in some clues (such as symptoms) =D  
Can you guess what they are for?=3  
****So before i- once again-begin to ramble on about random matters- i'll let you read.  
Please R&R, thanks X----- ENJOY!**

Dear Diary,

Well that was embarrassing, to say the least. I can't believe I did that. Thank god Sonic was there, I don't know what would of happened if he wasn't. I better explain.

Well I awoke to the smell of toast and fresh apple juice, Sonic was preparing us breakfast. So I got up and put on Sonic's dressing gown, then headed down the stairs. But I only managed to get half way down before I smelt tea. Now I normally love the smell of tea, but not today. It was really bizarre. As soon as I got a whiff of the warm sugary aroma, I instantly felt nauseous and dizzy. The next thing I know I'm running back up the stairs, towards the bathroom. Now for you benefit, I won't go into details as to what went on in there. I was brushing my teeth when Sonic came into the bathroom. He gave me a funny look, probably because I looked fine. Except that I was a little of colour, but that was to be expected- I'd just thrown up.  
"Are you okay? I heard you puking." He asked me. I merely nodded my head.

It took a while but I managed to convince him that I was fine. We both then went down to breakfast, I was starving. I ate all my breakfast and some of Sonic's. Nevertheless I was still hungry, so I helped myself to some cake. Why cake, I found myself asking. Why cake, at this time of the morning? I'm not really sure, but I've got my suspicions. Sonic gave me the most puzzled look, one that clearly said, "What are you eating?" I just shrugged my shoulders and carried on eating.  
"Well someone's got their appetite back," Sonic teased, "anyway what do you want to do today? I was thinking we could meet up with the rest of the guys and maybe go to the park, or something, how about it? That's if you're sure you okay." I decided to go, I mean what harm could come?

So an hour and a half later, we were all sat in the park. Cream had made a picnic and we-me and Cream- were setting up the area. The others were playing Frisbee, except Shadow -he was sitting in a tree resting, watching everyone else.

Once the picnic was set up everyone came and sat down, to enjoy the lovely meal. Once again I was so hungry. I'm surprised Sonic even talked to me after lunch, as I nicked one of his chilidogs. Once again Rouge watched all this in silence, although I think she can tell something is up. But as I wrote yesterday, there might not even be anything up. However, after today's event that's unlikely.

Eventually everyone- me- had finished lunch and we all joined in with the game of Frisbee. Poor Cream almost got hit in the nose a few times. Sonic, Shadow, Rouge and Tails were all really good at it but then again they do have an advantage; speed and flight.

To cut a long story short the incident happened when the Frisbee came flying towards me- Knuckles had thrown it so it had a bit of power in it. It was flying straight at me and at an incredible speed, so almost by instinct I jumped out of the way. While a girlish scream emitted from my lips.  
"Sorry Amy, I didn't mean to throw so hard." Knuckles called out to me. I replied,  
"No problem, I'll just go get it, back in a min." And with that said, I turned around and jogged up to the yellow Frisbee. Despite my throwing up earlier, I'd been feeling fine since. Yet as soon as I got up, from bending down to pick up the Frisbee, I suddenly felt light headed and unwell. It just appeared from nowhere or so it would seem, but that's not the case as I now know. The last thing I remember before my eyes shut tight and I feel into total darkness, were my friends- calling out my name.

So here I'm sat, on Cream's and Tails' couch, writing down the events of today. According to, well, everyone Sonic caught me just before I hit the ground and was about to speed of home except he was stopped when Tails told him that his house was by far the closest and then he zoomed off to the cosy home. Shadow then teleported everyone here, which is where they still are. Asking me constantly if I'm okay. I can tell they are worried but I wish that they would back off, I'm fine now. Sonic is clearly the most worked up- he's so panicked. I really wish I could tell him. But I'm finding it really hard to even look him in the eyes. He's also noticed this, but being the gentleman he is, hasn't questioned it. But it's clear that I'm hurting him with my sub-conscious actions

OMG!!!!! Does she know? Oh god, help me-someone. No she can't know, even I don't _know_. But then why did she just come up to me and say –quote- "If you ever need to talk, I'm always there for you! Don't forget that, okay?"-Unquote-? Please, Rouge can't know.

I so need to find out if this is actually true. But who can I turn to? Not Sonic, he wouldn't understand. Plus I couldn't get him upset... but what if he doesn't get upset? What if he, unlike me, gets totally excited about it? What would I do then? Wait... who said there's anything to get irritated (or maybe even happy) about? No one that's who!

I need to put my mind at ease- tomorrow I'll go to Rouge and Cream and together we will find out. I mean what are best friends for? Helping each other out, in times of need. And this **IS** a time of extreme needs. Their help is critical. I can't go through this on my own.

Well, bearing in mind my day tomorrow, I should get some rest. Plus i'm so sleepy, exhausted even. And if anyone complains that I'm hogging the sofa... well I did just faint in the middle of the park. The perfect alibi, don't you agree?

Ciao for now,

Amy Rose x


	5. Entry 5

**The fifth entry if now up... hope you like!  
Sorry for the wait. Before i go into random details about random things...  
**_The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had._  
_The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly._  
_On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds BigMac bun. ( imagine counting them =D)_  
**Well now over from the randomness and on with the story... enjoy and please review =3**

Dear Diary,

Well, today's the day-the day I finally put an end to my... my... uncertainty? Yes that's it my uncertainty. Oh I cannot wait. Not! Oh I'm so nervous. My palms are all sweaty and my stomach has become a home to a thousand little butterflies.

I suppose I could put it off. Nevertheless that's not going to change the results. No they will stay the same, no matter how long I put it off.

I should go see Sonic; he's waiting in the bed room. I've just finished throwing up again. How am I meant to explain that to him?  
"Hey Ames," He asked, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay? You might be coming down with something- a tummy bug maybe. Should I ring the doctor?"  
Oh, Sonic. Sweet Sonic, I'm not worthy of you. And to make matters worse, now I sound ungrateful! But I do have to thank you, because if you hadn't of just said what you did- well I think I would of told you. However you provided me the perfect line, "Yes, I must be catching something. It's weird because one minute I'll be fine. Don't ring the doctor. Please."

He seemed to buy this, thank god. I'm just not ready to tell him. I'm not ready to find out myself. But I need to, for my own sanity. Plus Rouge and Cream will be there. Speaking of which I need to ring them.

_Ring ring.  
Hello?  
_Rouge, it's Amy. I need to talk..._  
I'm all ears...  
_No, not on the phone. Not where walls have ears. Can I come by?  
_...Yeah of course. Amy, everything's okay, isn't it?_  
I'll know shortly. Can you call Cream- she's needed too?  
_Urm, sure. What's this about Amy?_  
Thanks, bye...

And with that said I hung up. I decided that Rouge's house was best because of these things:  
1) it's clear who wears the trousers in hers and Knuckles' relationship- she does. So if by chance he is there, well she can tell him to go.  
2) Knuckles, although he may be Sonic's friend, would not go telling him stuff if Rouge said it was to be kept a secret.  
And lastly- Tails. Tails is Sonic's best friend. He WOULD tell him anything (well he'd tell him this), despite Cream begging for his silence.

Before I arrived at her house, I had to stop by the shop and get something. Thankfully when I went in I was almost unrecognisable. It would not be good if people saw me buying what I did. On the contrary, I was unrecognisable, thanks to my sunglasses, baggy hoodie and matching track pants. I handed over the item and it was scanned. It was put in a bag and handed back to me in an exchange for money. With it paid for I swiftly left the shop not looking back, especially when I bumped into Shadow. But due to my attire, my identity remained a mystery.

So, now, here I stand, bag dangling beside me, hitting against my leg occasionally. Here I stand, not knowing if I should knock or not. I curl my palms into a fist and lift it to the wooden door, posed to knock. But I can't do it; I can't do any of this! Finally I knock, and stand waiting. Thankfully not for long though as Rouge opens the door- Cream closely behind. I smile sheepishly at them, a small action that uses up so much of my energy! She practically drags me in and shuts the door. Soon I'm seated on her sofa, whereas they sit opposite me on the other.

My eyes begin to blur up and I fight them away. Although I tried to hide this, nothing can get past my friends. Meaning I'm crushed like a bug by question after question.  
_What's wrong?  
Why are you weeping?  
Is it something to do with why you're here?_

I calm down and look directly at them and nod. Yes it is to do with why I'm here and now they too know that.

"Amy, what's wrong?" Rouge asks me. I didn't know what to say, so instead I decided actions spoke more.I picked up the bag and I leaned forward, towards the coffee table between us. Then I emptied the bag. On the table lay a box, a box that read...

"You're PREGNANT?????????" Cream and Rouge squealed, jumping up and down.

"That's great Amy."Cream beamed up at me. That smile faded when she saw my reaction. Most people would have joined in, wouldn't they? Not me though. Instead I shook my head, my glazy eyes still focused on her.

"No, it's only an assumption. I'm not sure yet, that's why I'm here. I need you!" I heard my voice tell them. Words continued to flow out just like a stream. "I didn't know who to turn to. You understand, don't you? What should I do, what should..." The tears flowed freely too. I couldn't stop the salty bitter tears from making their way to the ground- also affected by gravity. Rouge came up to me and embraced me in a loving hug.

"You're not sure then, if you are expecting. Come on, you can go take the test and we will be here for support."

So I grabbed the test and headed for her bathroom. A minute or so later I came out and handed it to Rouge, explaining to her that I couldn't look. We sat down and waited. We waited for a few seconds, but it felt longer- almost like years. Our silence was broken when the machine beeped a sign of the results.

Rouge and Cream took a look at it and...

"Amy, you're not..."

Okay I'm going to stop writing now, feeling so... so numb...

Amy Rose x


	6. Entry 6

**Well, shocked anyone? Waiting for the next entry? Here it is- Entry 6!  
Randomness----You know you love it =D  
**You cannot snore and dream at the same time  
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ( I LOVE this one =3)  
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?  
A. One thousand**  
Okay enough of them lol and on with entry 6 ^.^**Dear Diary,

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Rouge and Cream took a look at it and...

"Amy, you're not..."

I'm NOT- oh, the relief of finally knowing.

"Amy, you're not... you're not going to believe this. You're, you're pregnant!"

Silence. More silence. Even more silence... Until I flipped, lost all control.

"WHAT????!!!! You must be joking, tell me it's a joke. Please!" I yelled, running up to her and snatching away the pregnancy test. Not wanting to look at it, but having no choice. They must be lying- I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!! I'm not, I'm not...I'm... not!

But the screen says otherwise. The single word, staring at me, mocking me, eating away at me. I couldn't take it, so I threw it. With all my strength I threw it. Across the room it went, soaring, until it made impact with the wall-each little piece flying in different directions.

Cream whimpered and took shelter behind Rouge. That should have made me stop, but no it didn't. I'm surprised I even notice her in my rage. What was going on inside my mind? I'm not even sure anymore. How can so many thoughts occupy one's mind at one time? It's un-human, unnatural.

_What'll Sonic say?  
You don't even have to tell him.  
He'll notice!  
Not if there's nothing to notice!  
What should I call it?  
A girl or maybe a boy?  
ETERNITY!!!_

One thought and it all came back, crashing into reality. Resurfacing my earlier fears, what if it happened again? What if the baby doesn't make it? I can't go through that again; Sonic can't go through that again.

All these thought stopped me in my rage and instead I froze. Showing no emotion as I slowly broke down inside. My friends just stood and watched, unsure of my next action-myself, unsure of my next action. That is until I felt my knees cave, my weight suddenly becoming too much for my weak and shocked limbs. I sank down to the ground, much like the ship of dreams. Yes I sank just like the Titanic, my heart split in two- her body split in two.

Who ever knew that one word- only one word- could destroy a person so? One bloody word-positive! Positive, POSITIVE, Positive,_ positive, _**Bloody POSITIVE**!!! The single word repeating over and over inside my head, everywhere I turned. I couldn't take it. The tears began again, but I had a feeling they wouldn't be stopping anytime soon. So I didn't resist them, they ran freely. I don't know what to do, never have I been so confused.

To top it all off, I didn't know where I was going to sleep tonight- in my own bed was out of the question. No how could I sleep in the same bed as him and hide my tears, hide it-it, being the stupid embryo inside my body.

Rouge, I'm guessing, must have picked up on this as she made her way towards me. I didn't notice this, oblivious to the world I was, until I felt her warm arms around me, gently easing me up and over to the sofa as I wept against her.

"Just cry let it all out, you'll feel better. But you can stay here for the night- I'll ring Sonic and..." She was interrupted by a loud wail caused by me. I shook my head at her calling Sonic, she seemed to understand, "No don't worry I won't tell him, that's your job. All he needs to know for now is that you are having a fun girly sleepover at mine, okay. Cream you can stay too." She looked at me, waiting for a response. I nodded my head in between my hiccups, the ones I had gained from crying.

I must have stayed there for hours-curled up on her knee- just crying because soon Knuckles was back.

"Hey Rouge- I'm home... Amy? What's wrong? Do you want Sonic?" He questioned. A loud wail emitted from my lips. I was surprised I still had tears to cry. That's when Rouge got up, disturbing my position.

"Knuckles dear, do us a favour and stay over at Sonic's or Tails' house. I think Sonic said something about inviting you guys up. But whatever you do, DON'T mention that Amy was crying. If you're going to say anything about her, say she's having a great time- we're doing each other's hair etc, okay? No questions asked. I love you, now go!" She kissed him goodbye.

Cream had taken Rouge's spot and was now stroking my hair, trying to calm me. It had an effect as I became suddenly tired and very sleepy. But I'm not going to fight it- dreams are what i need right now, dreams and peace.

Amy Rose x_  
_


	7. Entry 7

**I present to you ENTRY 7 *lets of party poppers* Eeeeeeeee! LOl =D  
Now for anyone who is actually reading my random facts here is some more.  
**-If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in The air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in The air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the Horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.  
-The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9 m).- **what a nice image that creates, lol**  
-In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.** (what a good excuse for new shoes =D)**  
**Anyway on with the story- please R&R =D**

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Dear Diary,

Oh god! I've got such a headache. Just woke up on Rouge's sofa, not the best place to sleep. Although it is better than at home, with Sonic cuddled up next to me.

I guess I should tell him but I just can't. Not only do I not want to, I don't think I can physical move my lips for the words to come out. No I'd just be stood there, gazing into his eyes, searching my brain for unknown words.

So on deciding that I wouldn't tell him, for now, I need somewhere to go tonight. I couldn't stay at Rouge's; she'd already done so much. Plus she didn't really agree with me not telling Sonic. Cream's was out of the question due to Tails.

So that left one person- Shadow. Shadow would let me stay for the night- wouldn't he? After all we are really close. He's my best friend out of all the guys aside from Sonic. But then again, after the way he reacted the last time I told him I was pregnant, is it really such a good idea to turn to him for help? Hmmm I wonder.

Oh I know! I simply won't tell him. Yes that's it, I won't tell him. And to my advantage he's not going to ask now is he. No, it's not likely. So everything works out to be fine...

Except Sonic, but what can I do? Not everything can be great. Now don't get me wrong, I really do love him and I feel dreadful not telling him. But every rose has its thorns- including this one. Yes I, Amy Rose, have thorns.

Oh the two sleeping beauties are waking up. I'll go get them some tea which should wake them up properly... oh no wait; I can't stand the smell of tea since I became pregnant. Looks like its hot chocolates all round.

Rouge just came and joined me in the kitchen, she's making us all some cereal.  
"So what you going to do?"  
Good point Rouge, what am I going to do?  
"What, oh well I'm not sure to be honest. But it'll be fine." I told her adding, "Don't worry!"  
She didn't look too convinced but Rouge knows me better than to question my actions.

That's when I decided to tell her I was going. I told her I'd stay for breakfast but I'd already outstayed my welcome and then we hugged and gave her my thanks. After that we ate our breakfast in silent. The spoon in my bowl twisting in my fingers, showing my uneasiness. Thankfully my two friends were too wrapped up in their own thoughts to notice this.

As soon as we all had finished I waved my goodbyes and headed out the door to my new destination- Shadow's house. I went the long way for two reasons-  
a) I didn't want anyone to know where I was going, so I had to look like I was heading home when I left my friends. And  
b) I need time to myself.

An hour later I reached his house. Not sure if I really thought this through I walked up to his red door. Upon reaching it I knew I had nowhere else to go, so I lifted my fist towards the door and knocked. No-one answered. I knocked again. This time I heard movement so I called out, "Hey Shadow, it's me- Amy, come on let me in please!"  
"Coming" He echoed backed.

The door opened and I was soon face to face with my good friend, an ebony hedgehog. He smiled at my sudden show, but it soon changed into a frown at my expression.

"Can I stay here for the night?"

Amy Rose x


	8. Entry 8

**So entry 8 is up! =D Hope you like it. Please review =D  
For anybody reading these random facts here is your next dose-  
**_**Q.** What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?_  
_**A.** All invented by women. ( Go girlies =D)_  
_In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.  
**Q.** What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?  
**A. **Snoop in your medicine cabinet. ( Stalkers! =P)  
_**Anyway hope you enjoy this entry =D**

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Dear Diary,

"Can I stay here for the night?"

He looked at me with great confusion.

"Please!" I begged. I really need to stay here, I have nowhere else. He's my only option.

"Please, I have no one else to turn to. Can I stay the night, no questions asked?" I pleaded again.  
He moved away from the doorway- beckoning me in. I was welcome to stay.  
" Don't you have any stuff?" He asked. I shook my head; no, I had nothing with me. He nodded in acknowledgement.

I went further into his living room and sat down on the sofa. I knew that I was always welcome here. Also I feel very at ease in his presence- I know how to react and how Shadow will react himself. It was true; Shadow and I knew each other well. Not to boast, but it was thanks to me that Shadow was our friend. I can easily predict him and his actions. We have a special connection, and that's an understatement.

"I've got to go out, stuff to do. Do you want to come? You're welcome to stay here- make yourself at home." He asked me.  
"No, thanks anyway." I said. He nodded and then walked over towards the door I had knocked upon no more than five minutes ago.  
"Shadow," I called out, "if you see anyone, don't tell them I'm here." I almost threatened him. My tone seemed to shock him, heck, it even shocked me. But he respected my wish. At least I think he did, I can only tell by the nod of his head.

Soon he was gone and I was left to sit in the silence, left alone with my thoughts, lucky me. Just what I needed, time to think through my options! Despite that sounding slightly sarcastic, it was partly true. I did need to think about what I was going to do, whether I was going tell or keep it a secret?

In next to no time my head became full of thoughts. So much that I was drowning in them. It's not a nice feeling, I can tell you that. Thanks to my numerous thoughts I was gaining a headache, but for some unknown reason I didn't want to stop them, so I let them flow throughout my mind.

_Keep it and tell him.  
Keep it a secret.  
Get rid of it.  
Do nothing._

These were some of the decisions I had still to make. Some of the choices I didn't want to make. Many of them best left unknown. Although my brain was occupied by many different scenarios, it still screamed out to me-

_ETERNITY!  
_**Eternity!  
**_**Eternity!  
**__ETERNITY!!!_

I couldn't get her out of my head, no matter what I thought of. She's there in the front of my mind, the back of my mind, the left and right of my mind. I cannot escape her- even if I wanted to. But the pain-the horrible pain that tears away at my heart- I could do without it.

At times it's unbearable; I don't know how I'm still alive. Actually I do, Sonic! He's the reason my heart still beats. You see, I took my baby's death so badly. I shut myself of from the rest of the world, isolated myself. Feelings, bad ones, just kept drowning me. One day they got too much, too hard to resist. And so I did something, something I regret with great passion. It was the only option I thought I had, the only way out. It was so shiny, attracting my attention towards it. Reeling me in like a fish on a hook. So shiny and sharp! My way out-so quick with little effort. But that wasn't the case, I couldn't go through with it. I held it tightly in my hands but yet it wouldn't move, it wouldn't penetrate my skin.

So instead I choose an easy way, or so I thought. What a sight Sonic came home to- me on the kitchen floor, pills everywhere, unconscious. When I came around and regained my senses, much to my dismay at the time, I heard Sonic and Tails in the kitchen.

"She'll be okay Sonic; you just need to help her. Get her back to normal..." Tails began.  
"Normal? Tails, you saw what condition she was in! She's been unconscious for 3 days now! What if she...?"This time Tails interrupted his older brother.  
"She will be fine, if you help her. Get her through this, and she'll be fine. Let her see what she has instead of what she doesn't..."  
"What if she tries it again?" He cried. Tails hugged him and advised him,  
"Don't let her! Sonic you're strong, she needs that. She needs someone to hold her and tell her everything will be okay! You can do it, you can bring her back, I believe in you- and her."

The two then came through into the living room, I pretended to be coming around- I didn't want them knowing I had heard all of that. I opened my eyes and the instantly met with tired green ones. I could instantly tell he had been crying and I felt a tsunami of guilt overcome me.  
"I'm sorry... I won't do it again..." I cried, embracing him in a tight hug- not letting go of what I had!  
"Never again, Amy!" He almost yelled at me but didn't quite manage through his tears. And I've kept my promise so far, it would be a shame to break it.

I'm sorry Sonic!

Oh my head, it's becoming too painful. I'm going to lie down now. I'll write later, once I feel well enough.

Amy Rose x


	9. Entry 9

**Entry 9- Hope you like it. Please R&R =3  
Sorry no facts today- if you want them in the future, please go and vote in my poll. Thanks =D  
Anyway- enjoy =P**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Urgh, I still don't feel too good. I slept most of yesterday, from when I went to lie down with my headache- to now. I've just woken up, in Shadow's spare room, he must have moved me in here. The last thing I can remember is lying down on the sofa and the rest is blank, unknown.

I guess I should go get some breakfast...

Maybe I'll wait for a bit, until my stomach settles. All I'm going to say is- I HATE morning sickness. I'll never miss it. And the constant tired feeling, I won't miss that either.

Oh no, Shadow heard me throwing up and he wants to know if I'm okay. I hope he doesn't suspect anything.  
"I'm fine, thanks. Must have been something I ate yesterday. Oh and before I forget- thanks for moving me in here. It's probably way comfier than the sofa; at least I think it is considering I've never slept on your sofa." I replied.

"That's fine. Sonic rang yesterday -while you were asleep. He asked me if I'd seen you, but don't worry," He must of detected a look of pure horror and panic on my face as he soon continued to say, "I didn't tell him you were here. I told him I hadn't seen you but that I'd keep my eye out. From the look on your face that was the right thing to say. Amy, he seemed worried; what's going on between you guys? Rouge called too. Tell me, what's going on?"

What could I say to that? _Oh nothing's wrong Shadow, what makes you say?_ Because that would go down well, not. But I've made up my mind, I'm not telling him or anyone else! Only Rouge, Cream and I know- and that's how it will stay. (I think)

Sonic, I'm truly sorry for the worry I'm causing you though. I don't know how I can possibly make it up to you. Maybe going home would be a good start...

The phone's ringing! Please don't be him, please don't be him... It's him.

"Hello ... Oh Sonic, it's you... What? No, I've not seen her... You're going to do what...Yes, I know; I heard you, but do you think that's really necessary... No that's not what I'm saying... Of course I care! All I'm saying is that she is a grown woman; she can take care of herself... Look we all care about her Sonic, it's not just you! Rouge has also contacted me...Fine, you do that. But when she comes walking in perfectly fine... Okay, I'll help you look for her if it's what you really want... Yes, I'll go out looking. Bye."

He turned and looked at me with a what-you-have-done look plastered all over his smug face. Yet he came over and hugged me, told me everything was going to be okay and that he wasn't going to judge me. Then he headed out the door to 'look' for me. But not before I felt a connection, an attraction; an attraction that I, a married woman, should not be having. It's just the hormones, just the hormones! But his eyes, his deep, dark, meaningful eyes- I could have drowned in them. But i know that his muscular arm would have held me to tight to go anywhere! And his lips, oh how divine and so inviting. OMG! Did I just think that? Oh I did, it's just the hormones- stupid hormones, stupid feelings (thanks to stupid hormones)! I'm so sorry Sonic, really I am!

I know I should go home now and that's what I'll do. I need to go home but first I need a good excuse for staying out the whole night. Plus saying I was at Shadow's isn't going to do anything but get him in trouble and after he took me in, I can't do that. Actually you know what; I'm tired of pleasing others! I stayed out all night because **I**, Amy Rose, wanted to. Now that is my excuse!

Time to go face the music.

Amy Rose x


	10. Entry 10

**Entry 10 is up =D Hope you enjoy it. Please R&R!  
Sorry for the wait but homeworks a nightmare!  
No facts in this entry =( If you want a random fact put up in each entry then please vote in my poll, thanks.  
Anyway, on with the chapter.  
P.s Don't worry more interesting events will take place shortly =D**Dear Diary,

* * *

I'm home... and Sonic's not, thank god. I'll just go get into bed and sleep until he wakes me.

(Five minutes later)  
Okay the so much for sleep. Turns out I won't be getting any, Sonic's back and Tails is with him. Oh I can hear them talking but I can't make out the words. Hmmm I wonder what they are saying. With that thought still in my head, I get out of bed and make my way to the landing. Their voices are becoming clearer;  
"I can't find her, what if she's kidnapped? Or... Or... Oh, I don't know what if something worse is happening to her? "  
"This is Amy we're on about Sonic, she's stronger than that. She'll be fine. Knowing her she'll be out boozing it with her pals...." And just what is THAT supposed to mean?  
"Rouge and Cream haven't seen her in two day's now. Not since she left Rouge's house, after the sleepover. And I haven't seen her in three days. But to be honest I do have my doubts about that sleepover, don't you?"

Oh god, please don't question Knuckles about it. Whatever you do Sonic, don't question Knuckles!If Knuckles says anything, I will personally hunt him down and his precious rock will not make it out alive!

"Look Sonic, you're panicking too much. And before you say it, yes I would do the same if it were Cream! But I'm also worried about Amy, although I know deep down that she's fine." Tails was trying to reassure Sonic- it wasn't working. I'm the only one who can do that.

Okay here I go... Taking really big breaths as I enter the kitchen, a fake smile painted on my face.  
"Oh hey guys didn't know you were here. Want something to eat or drink?" I tried to sound light and casual,but that is not how I feel. The weight of the world crushing down on my shoulders. Nevertheless they don't need to know that.  
"AMY!" They both yelled causing me to jump in shock.  
"You're home, where have you been?"  
"We thought something bad had happened!"  
"No one's seen you in days!"  
I was instantly bombarded with the many questions and facts about my little break away, both of them talking at the same time, making it hard to follow.  
"Guys, guys, GUYS! Sheesh, I'm fine okay. Just needed some me time." I half lied.  
"Well you could have told me, I've been worried sick about you!" Sonic raised his voice at me, just aggravating me more until I finally snapped.  
"I'M 24 YEARS OLD-I DON'T NEED A BABYSITER! IF I WANT SOME ME TIME, THEN I'LL HAVE SOME!" I yelled at him before stomping away, my anger getting the best of me.  
Before I made it to my room I heard Tails ask Sonic if I was okay. And what did he say! He said I must be bloody premenstrual! I'll show him much I'm suffering from PMS!

"ARGH!" I scream before slamming our bedroom door shut. Premenstrual? Bloody premenstrual! I'm not going to be premenstrual for 9 months thanks to you! Then again, I've still yet to decide about the future. I've got more important things to worry about- like how to punish Sonic for saying such a thing!

In all fairness though I shouldn't have snapped at him like that. But my hormones are all over the place and so is my mind. I'm finding it very hard just to stay sane. Then again sanity is very over-rated. I don't know why but I'm finding it very hard to keep on smiling. Sure on the outside I may look happy and I may be smiling but deep down inside, where it really matters, I'm slowly but surely dying. I don't want to feel this way but how do I stop it? That's what I need to know. How can I keep my promise?

Oh my, I'm struggling to stay awake. I really should catch up on my sleep now, but I'm not too sure if I can face the world of dreams and then wake up to bitter-sweet reality. Well I'll never know until I try.

Amy Rose x


	11. Entry 11

**Entry 11- hope you like it. Please R&R, pretty please ;D  
Sorry for the cliffhanger at the end lol =P  
Anyway- enjoy =3**

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Dear Diary,

I slept terribly last night. I had this horrible nightmare and it was so vivid, like it was real. I remember waking up crying and seeing Sonic beside me. I nearly woke him up, just so we could talk and I could ease my mind. But I didn't need to; as soon as I jolted up from my nightmare he also awoke. He took one look at me and then held me in his arms, running his fingers through my hair-trying to calm me, until I feel asleep again.

I can still remember the nightmare- it's been playing over and over inside my head, trying to consume me. Well, it's working. My thoughts are barely on everything else. It began like this:  
_Walking alone in the forest I looked around at the trees and how alive they looked. Their branches appearing as claws, ready to grab me and keep me in their strong hold. But instead they are planted firmly in the ground and will not grasp hold of me. It's all just my imagination, conjuring up strange and terrifying images.  
I continue to walk on past them, going deeper and deeper into the unknown location. I've never seen this place but it seems familiar. How can that be? How can I know a place and its surroundings even though I've never been there?  
__**Creak  
**__The eerie silence is broken by the snap of a twig. My body turned sharply, my eyes looking for the cause of disruption. After scanning left and right and not detecting anything, I continued on my way__**. **__But I was still conscious of something, or someone, following me- I could sense it. This became clear when once again I heard a noise coming from behind me, this time it was the leaves rustling under the weight of my stalker. Upon hearing this sudden noise I turned around and what I saw shocked me, in front of my very eyes was an outline of a hedgehog. A hedgehog that knew I had a secret. A hedgehog that wanted to know my secret!_

_Judging by the height and build of the silhouette, I took a guess that he was male-and my guess was later confirmed as an accurate one. He was looking at me with his eyes, I sensed it. _

_He took a step forward and I retreated one back and so on so forth, until he finally lunged towards me. I quickly dodged him and then I began to run, watching out for branches and roots that could slow me down. He followed my example and soon he was gaining on me, gaining on me fast. I felt my legs speed up as I desperately ran away from him. Despite my determination, he had the upper hand when it came to speed. He was easily able to catch me, but it seemed that he enjoyed the fun of the catch. Almost like a cat; playing with its victim before finally killing it. In this situation I was the mouse, or at least that's how I felt. _

_After what seemed like ages, he finally got bored of this 'game' and he increased his speed, running towards me at a speed that seemed only possible for Sonic to reach. This shocked me, but what stunned me the most was how my legs seemed to suddenly gain the same potential to travel at high speeds. On discovering this I decided to put it into a practice. I mean now's a good enough time to try, considering I'm running for my life. _

_I pushed myself to my full potential and it was amazing, if I wasn't being chased I would have appreciated this raw talent more. Nothing in my wildest dreams could compare to this moment, the speed at which I was travelling. Regardless of how fast I ran, he was still there- right behind me. I ran faster and faster, covering more ground but unfortunately he seemed to be covering the same amount. If it was a race, we would both be neck and neck. However this was no race, it was a life or death situation. I had but two chooses: a) run, carry on running until either of us got tired or b) just give up now. The latter of the two seemed so appealing, but yet something was keeping me going. The other part of me was dying to stop and find out who my stalker was. _

_That soon happened as I was forced to turn the left, sharply. Guided in by my chaser. I ended up running in to a memorable place- one of no return. This time it seemed as if I wouldn't be returning either. The figure had slowed down to a stop, copy my actions. He stayed hidden in the shadows, still a black silhouette, watching me. I had my back to him as I looked around at the sight, taking note of how all the colours seemed to vanish here and the only thing with colour was me and the single grave stone, as well as blood-a lot of blood! The grave stone that my eyes were so fixed upon, reading the name- Eternity! _

_The silhouette then started walking towards me; I heard his footsteps approach me. I had my back to him so I did not know at that moment if he was still after me. When he was no more than a half a metre away from me he stopped at a standstill, not moving any closer to me nor further away. We stayed like this for a while as I was fixated on the grave, my baby's grave. I stood and stared at it, taking in the blood around me. _

_Finally I realised I needed closure; I needed to know who was behind me. But did I like who it was? No, I did not. Turning around I caught a glimpse of blood splattered over him. Ours eyes then locked together, almost in a trance._

And it was then I awoke, panicked. Never in my life did I feel as small as I did then. Could it really have been him? Could I really of locked eyes with him after just moments earlier running away? No, it couldn't be. But I'm afraid to say it was him. I was running away from Sonic. He was the one chasing me to the grave, the grave of our daughter.

With that in my head I realised that I had a full day ahead of me to spend with him. But I really didn't want to. I just wanted to be left alone with my own thoughts and self pity. I wanted to wither away and escaped for I while. And that's just what I did. Leaving my room for use of the toilet and to get myself food only and by locking the door, I did not have to face the world at all.

This did not go down well with Sonic though. He was angry that I only made food for myself and upset that I wouldn't let him in, physically and mentally. He couldn't understand why I had locked the door and what was wrong with me; then again I didn't expect him to understand. Part of me didn't even want him to empathize with me. I just wanted him to leave me alone so I could suffer on my own.

I did a lot of thinking today, about everything really. But one thought stands out to me the most. I'm proud that I came to the conclusion I did, and that I came to it all by myself. I, Amy Rose, have decided what I will do with the embryo living inside me!

Amy Rose x


	12. Entry 12

**Hey guys Entry 12 is here.  
Sorry to say this but the next update won't be for at the very least 10 days =( Sorry  
I've got so much homework- maths tests all over the place =( And I'm so sorry *dodges thrown objects*  
Anyway, not that any of you care but I'm in a really good mood today =D Had a dance of at school and my group won =D Had to have the best ganstalicious dance and it had to intimidate people (not sure if that's good or not=P)!  
Interesting fact-------  
More people die by cows than sharks =D  
But enough about that- you don't care about my dancing, you want to know Amy's desicion =P Am I right?  
NOW please R&R =D**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I had that dream...nightmare, again. But this time our eyes stayed focused for longer and his lips moved, about to say something. However I never got to find out what, as I soon awoke to find out it was morning. And with every new morning comes another dose of morning sickness. So in other words the embryo is taking well to my womb and I'm left to throw up as a result to this. Great (!)

Sonic had thankfully gone out for his morning run. So he couldn't question this sickness. Then again he won't have to question it soon.

I've got so much time on my hands, now that I'm not interacting with anybody. I think Sonic's noticed this change and I think it upsets him that I'm not sharing my problems. But I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to anybody, anybody at all. I just want time to myself.

I have thought about going out for a walk, but that thought was soon dismissed when I realised that to go for a walk I had to go out and face the world. Plus I could bump into a friend!

Many would say I've become almost depressed and I'm not sure if I can argue my sanity. It seems to be disappearing slowly, with every word I mumble to myself. But there is no one else, no one else to mumble to. Not one soul that I can talk to. Rouge and Cream have done so much already; they can only help me so far. I have to help myself.

Sonic's back and he's calling me. Oh well, I'm busy- helping myself- he can wait.

"AMY!" Wow, that sounded almost angry.

I heard him stomp up the stairs, the wood creaking under his aggression. The door is the next to suffer, as he swings it open, almost taking it off its hinges. He stops as soon as his gaze meets mine, just like that dream. Deep down inside I hope that I do wake up soon, but I know that won't happen. This is real life, this is bitter sweet reality!

So what do I do as my love stands glaring at me? Well I simple turn my head and face back out the window, as I was before he interrupted. This wasn't my smartest move as it only angered him more.

"Amy, what is your problem? Seriously you've been in a right cantankerous mood since you got back from that sleepover. And that was almost a week ago! For the past 4 days you've not spoken one word to me either. Have I done something to upset you? If I have I'm sorry, but I honestly don't know what I've done..."

I too found myself more or less yelling. But I was shocked at my choice of lexis.

"Oh! You don't even KNOW what it is you've done, why am I not surprised? Oh yeah maybe it's the feeling of déjà vu. Don't apologise for something you don't what you're apologising for, it just makes matters worse! Oh and just so you know- not everything's about you, the world doesn't orbit you and you're not the centre of attention! No matter how much of a hero you are!"

I can scarcely believe those words came out of my mouth! Never In my wildest dreams have I been so cruel to him. The worst thing is that I don't mean them; they just came flowing out of my mouth like a waterfall.

"Oh please Amy! You don't mean that, I know you don't. And I thought you liked me being a hero. Hell, it wasn't so long ago that you worshipped the ground I walked on, you practically stalked me..."

That was it, the trigger cause. My eyes began to fill with hatred and anger, almost giving the impression of flames. His words hit me deep, stabbed me like a dagger. Stalked him, oh the nerve!

I stood up in frenzy, fuming and boiling with rage. I'd lost all control and gave out the notion of a storm- angry and unpredictable. He was about to feel my wrath and boy would it be painful!

I swiftly grabbed the nearest thing to me-which just so happened to be a photo of us, on our bedside table- and threw it at him. With all my strength I might add. He saw the object coming towards him at a speed to match his own before his quick reactions took over and he dodged it just in time. The frame hit the wall and the impact sent glass everywhere among the floor. My eyes were fixed on his at all times, as his also on mine. The anger had subsided, disappeared as quickly as it went, but his eyes held regret; he knew he'd done wrong.

We stood in a painful silence, not one of us talking. But I really wanted him to react somehow-to yell at me or hit me or anything at all- except him just standing there staring. Our eyes began to fill up, both of us sad and confused, but I was not going to cry. Not going to show him any more of my weakness.

He finally decided to move as he went over towards the picture then bent down to pick up the frame and its photo. He then walked over to the bedside next to me and put it there, before saying, "Shame, it was a good picture. I liked it in that frame."

Honestly is that all that is on his mind! Once the snapshot was set down carefully, he turned around and exited the room. But not before a single tear fell to the ground, almost like my heart. The tear did not belong to me though, no its owner was long gone.

I'm sorry.

Amy Rose x


	13. Entry 13

**Entry 13- wow! Sorry for the wait =3**  
**Anyway I just wanted to thank all my reviewers so far so a BIG Thank You to-**  
_Angel-Demon1_  
_Rachel-1994_  
**And **_daneliz' _  
**So once agin thank you and please keep on R&R**  
**Happy Easter everyone also =D **  
** (\/)**  
** ('.')**  
**(")(")**  
**90 million chocolate Easter bunnies are made for Easter each year.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Sonic did not come up to bed last night. He must have spent the hours of darkness sleeping on our settee. I hope his back is okay because although we are currently not speaking I still love him. Yet I don't deserve him and his devotion. Plus sleeping on our sofa couldn't have been that pleasurable and I doubt he would have been sound asleep.

Speaking of a peaceful nights rest, I also didn't get one. All night I tossed and turn in a reckless manner, getting little sleep at time and when by chance I got some sleep it was not wanted. Nightmares overflowed my imaginings, or should I say one nightmare in particular. The same one I've been having the past few nights, the same daunting dream where I get nowhere and I'm left piercing my lover's eyes. It just kept playing over and over like a loved film being watched repeatedly, the only difference being you can get sick of this one!

Some would say it's a confusing dream and that the human mind works in mysterious way. But I disagree; I know what this recurring message is. It's mocking me, silently, urging me to tell him.

Soon there won't be a need to tell. I won't have to worry anymore. There will be no secret to keep and we can live happily ever after without any problems. Or is that just wishful thinking?

Turning around to look out at the view from our window, I caught a glimpse of the broken photo and the broken memory. Flashbacks, of the day the photo was taken, controlled my mind. Sure it was the best day of my life. I'd been waiting for that for as long as I can remember- the day I meet and feel hopelessly in love with him. Despite that fact I don't know if I could repeat it.

The day itself was gorgeous, everything I could have dreamed up. And our love is still just as strong. Not once have I looked at another man in such a way I look at Sonic.

That was just the case until the incident with Shadow, the incident that even he didn't detect, thankfully. Yet I know deep inside that it only because of the hormones that I reacted the way I did.

And that's how I am now. Still gazing at the photo of our wedding day, I lose focus on it and gain concentration on the smashed glass around and on it. How did my heart get so broken like this? How did my life end up with so many lies and secrets? When did it all go wrong?

Oh someone's approaching the front door, I wonder who it is. Well it doesn't really matter- I don't want to talk to them if it's for me. Maybe if I don't answer they will disappear.

Just on queue the door bell rang and I heard Sonic's footsteps as he got up to answer it. I thought he'd gone out for his morning run- he would of gone by now. Unconsciously I hope he's okay. Piecing together my new info it suddenly hits me that Sonic must have been here earlier and that means he must have heard me throw up. But that doesn't make sense! If I was throwing up, why didn't he check to see if I was okay? Because of last night?

_Oh dear god, NO! They wouldn't have. Cream and Rouge wouldn't betray my trust like that, would they?_ I frantically question myself. _No_ I'm only thinking that because I heard their voices at the door...

Wait just a second. Why are they at the door? I didn't call them... did I? No despite the opinion of many, I'm not crazy. If I had called them I would know.

I think they are coming upstairs, what should I do? Pretend to be asleep? No they're my friends I might as well talk to them.

The door slowly opens and my two friends are lead in by my husband.

"Amy's not been feeling too good lately and I was hoping you two could cheer her up. She won't listen to me," He joked before continuing, "so I thought you could take a walk or something, get her to eat or even just talk. Anything response at all would be a miracle. What do you say Amy?"

What do I say? What do I say? I say stop bloody patronising me! That's what I say! God I'm so mad, I can speak for myself perfectly fine! I don't need him to tell others my worries, or for him to call up my friends because I'm 'unable' to. URGH SONIC THE HEDGEGOG! I think I'm beginning to hate you.

I don't mean that though and I know I don't. But sometime I just need to be left alone and now, well now's one of them times.

But I don't fight anymore and for that reason I merely nodded my head in response as he walked away shutting the door behind him. I'm left looking into the begging eyes of my worried pals. Before they can open their mouths, words are flowing out of my own. I don't know what I'm really saying but I'm saying it...

"I know what I'm going to do with the embryo. I don't want to hide it from him anymore..."

"Amy, that's great news."

Amy Rose x


	14. Entry 14

**So is this the chapter you've all been waiting for? **  
**The one where you find out what will happen to the baby? Maybe it is, maybe it's not? **  
**Read on and find out =D Please R&R =3**

* * *

Dear Diary,

"I know what I'm going to do with the embryo. I don't want to hide it from him anymore..."

"Amy, that's great news."

My face froze, as theirs only grew. Had I not said it clearly? Was my tone wrong? These entire questions were flying through my head. They had misunderstood my intentions from the word 'go'.

"No, I don't think you understand. When I said that I didn't want to hide it from him anymore I meant I didn't want there to be anything to hide from him!"

The meaning of my words must have still not been obvious, as my friends stood there with half a smile on their faces. Cream looked as if she was about to burst open with happiness.

"Oh Amy, I can't believe it! I'm going to be an Auntie all over again..."

That was it, I couldn't take it anymore. This misunderstanding needed to be put straight and soon.

"NO!" I shouted. I then lowered my voice into a harsh whisper as to not attract any more attention and have Sonic come rushing into the room to see what was wrong.  
"In spite of everything I've told you, you still think I want this thing? Well I'm going to make this as transparent as possible. No- I don't want it! N-O! N to the O! How much clearer can I explain that? I don't want this... this... this embryo!"

And then there was silence, it flooded the room and drowned us in its eeriness. Then again some would argue that silence is peaceful but not this one. I lowered my head as if it would break the icy glares emitting from their orbs.

Finally the silence was broken when Cream opened her mouth and enquired, "Amy, what are you saying?"

I never got a chance to answer her question as it was answered for me.

"She's saying she wants to get an abortion." She coldly stated before turning to me and uttering with just as much coldness, "That _is _what your planning, isn't it?"

I had no words to say but she wanted an answer, yet I could not give one.

"My god, Amy! Here was me thinking you had a heart. As if you would even think of that, I mean just how desperate and weak are you?"

Although that was rhetorical I couldn't help but retaliate.

"Pretty desperate actually! Then again, you wouldn't understand what I lost and how that STILL haunts me. I thought you were my friend..."

"And I thought you had a heart..."

I could not believe this, how could one of my best friends be attacking me so? I felt my temper rising and my blood begin bubble. I bite my tongue as to not shout, the last thing I need is Sonic hearing this argument.

"So you keep saying. Is there anything else about my decision that you'd like to verbalize? Because if so, I suggest you do now. This is the choice I've made Rouge, I'm not risking the pain I've already had and I'm not jeopardising my relationship with Sonic!"

Tears began to form in both our eyes yet hers were so frozen. She walked over to the door and took hold of the knob, about to twist it. She turned her head towards me and looked deep into my eyes, before announcing, "Oh and just so you know not everything's about you, the world doesn't orbit you and you're not the centre of attention! You're not the only one hurting, we all are. What about Sonic, did you think of him and what he wants? How about us- your friends- don't we matter? No matter how much you call it an embryo, it's still your baby better get that in your head now before the abortion when you suddenly realise you've just killed a living thing! _Your_ living thing! Now I'll still be your friend, but I want _nothing_ to do with this!"

After that monologue she left the house, leaving me in tears. Funny how only one sentence, out of all that speech, caught my full attention_. Oh and just so you know- not everything's about you, the world doesn't orbit you and you're not the centre of attention! _The exact same words I said to Sonic during our argument.

Cream came running up to me and embraced me into a gentle hug. Just seconds after she did this we heard the front door slam and then footsteps. Suddenly the bedroom door was flung open and there stood a worried Sonic. He asked Cream if I was alright and what had happened, but she only told him I would be okay. Cream is a brilliant friend, she understands me and she can almost feel my pain. I figured this was a trait she got from Vanilla.

Now here I am sat, crying on Cream's lap and that's how I'll stay until I feel better.

Amy Rose x


	15. Entry 15

**The 15th entry is now up =D Hope you like please R&R=D**

Random facts =P  
Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, "Psycho". This scene, which is of 45 seconds, actually took 7 days to shoot.  
The Genesis Sonic games have some memorable tunes, from the sonic drowning theme to the song that plays when the weird glitter crap follows you, rendering you invincible JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE. But did you know that _Sonic the Hedgehog 3_ was originally going to have a soundtrack created by none other than Michael Jackson? That would have been very interesting, to say the least. (not sure if that's true or not but found it on some website =D)

Now just a quick note to say please vote in my poll to tell me if you want random facts or not... and thanks to those who have =3  
Anyway on with the story =D

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Dear Diary,

After what feels like hour I've stopped crying, Sonic is still stood here also. He has been refusing to leave until he hears from my own lips that I am fine. But how can I tell him I'm fine, how can I look into his eyes and tell him everything is okay? I can't!

I feel so ghastly lying to him all the time. But if I was to tell him about the...the b-b-ba...the bab...the embryo. Well he might get angry or upset, like me. Or he could want it and when I give birth it could be dead. How could I live with that on my mind? Knowing that Sonic wanted a baby and once again I gave a still birth, I couldn't live with that.

I look up towards him with my jade coloured eyes and open my mouth, about to tell him.  
"I'm p...p...pre... I'm fine." I stuttered.

Oh what a mess! I just couldn't do it, no matter how much I may have wanted. But truth be told I don't really want him knowing after all. It would only make my decision so much harder.

He's just left the room, unsure but willing to trust me and also knowing not to push it. I can feel Cream's intense gaze upon my colourless face so I turn to meet her eyes, linking us in an attachment. I look deep into her eyes, searching for comfort of any sort and I do not have to look far. Moments later I'm embraced in one of her firm but soothing hugs.

She slowly began to stand up, breaking off our hug. Upon planting both feet on the ground, she walks over to my wardrobe leaving me on the bed with a bamboozled expression.

She swings open the doors and pulls out one of my jackets. It's the denim one I bought on one of our shopping sprees. To go with it she pulls out a matching denim skirt and a cream tank top. She hands the items over to me and literally shoves me into the bathroom.

"Now Amy, you will get washed and dressed and then I'm taking you out for some fresh air. No arguments about it."

I was about to protest, "No I don't want t..."

"Amy, because I'm nice you can have two choices. You can get dressed yourself." She paused mainly for effect although it could have been to emphasise the choice I _should _make, "Or I can dress you myself. Choose wisely. Plus a little fresh air will not kill you. I'm surprised you've not been having withdrawal symptoms from the lack of it!" Her voice was secure yet had a tinge of mothering about it.

I didn't argue with her, instead I did as I was told. Within 30 minutes I was washed and dressed, I just needed my shoes and some lippy. It should only take a second or so to find my cream pumps, but I also needed my creamy-gold butterfly scarf. It's slightly cool outside!

I'm now ready to leave, unfortunately. Cream is dragging my reluctant body out of the bedroom and down the stairs in the direction of the front door. Sonic, I may add, is sat comfortably on the sofa and is doing nothing to help me. No instead he's thanking her and asking how she managed to get me out.

Managed? She's forcing me, that's how she's managing to get me out. But in all fairness I do need out. It's not healthy to stay locked up forever.

I wonder where she's taking me, now that I'm not being dragged across the floor and I'm actually cooperating. Hey, wait a sec...

I know this walk, I know this walk well. It's only been what a month since I last went? Yeah it's only been a month...

Wait! If my calculations are correct that means I'm four months pregnant tomorrow! If I found out two weeks ago and I was 3½ months that means tomorrow I'll be four months pregnant... I don't know what to say-I'm speechless. If I don't book the abortion soon I'm going to be wearing very baggy clothes.

I'm surprised Sonic hasn't noticed, it's not like there isn't a bump or anything. Sure it's only a small one but still. Then again he hasn't really had the chance to see me in the flesh, not since... Oh it must be, what three months now? No wonder he's slightly agitated! Well that and my constant mood swings. But I am pregnant after all, what do you expect?

Okay I'm almost positive I know where we are going. As we walk slowly to our destination, I swipe a quick glance towards my beige friend. She also chose this moment to glimpse at me. Our eyes fixed in place as she smiles kindly at me. I know she means well, this was not meant to be cruel.

Then again I don't feel as bad as I used to after visiting here. Is that wrong? Sonic says it not but I'm still not convinced. On the contrary I do feel something, a presence. Is that normal? I don't know but do I want it to go? No I don't.

Cream grabs my hand and begins to run. I run alongside her as I feel the adrenaline kick in. We dodge the 'flying' trees and watch out for the roots. Its true were not as fast as Sonic but we can still run when we want to. The wind is hitting against my body but yet I still run. I run to numb the pain.

But my running was cut short as we soon arrived at our goal. In my head it was just me and Cream though. But in front of me is the last person I'd expect to see here...

Amy Rose x


	16. Entry 16

**Quite a short entry but a meaningful one nonetheless =D Who was the mystery figure... Read on to find out=D**  
**Not really mysterious but in Amy's current mind set, anything is =3**

**random facts-**  
**Human birth control pills work on gorillas.**  
**Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.**

**Please R&R Thanks x**

* * *

Dear Diary,

We both stood, stopped in our own tracks, looking at the unexpected visitor. Many questions such as-  
_What are they doing here?  
Do they mean well?  
Why, why them of all people?_  
-ran through my head.

I opened my mouth to call out their name, but then I stopped dead. Maybe they're here for the same reason as me... To talk to someone, someone who we both love and someone who can't talk back.

The figure was rising up from the grave and I swear I can hear sniffling. I needed to talk to them, to comfort them and hug them.

"Rouge..."

She turned and faced me, her eye make-up all smudged. One moment we were stood a few metres away, the next we are embracing each other so tight.

"Amy, I'm sorry. It's none of my business what you do with your baby. I just think you should talk to Sonic before you do anything. I don't want you doing anything you'll later regret. You're my best friend and I can only begin to imagine what you went through with Eternity and how much you want to move on from that. When you tried to commit ... s-s-sui... when you did what you did, I was so worried. Worried that my best friend was falling apart and there was nothing we could do to help you. But you managed, somehow." She paused for a breath and to wipe her eyes, preparing them for another flood.

"If I were in your shoes, I don't think I could have done it, any of it. I mean sure you tried to... well you know... and some would say that's a cowards way out. But if you really think about it, you were willing to end everything without a worry. You had a goal in mind and you tried to reach it. Thankfully you never succeeded. I don't know what I'd do without you. I understand your worries, about it all happening again and I'm sad that I can't tell you it'll all be okay.  
I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry. It's your choose and I'll support you no matter what. You'd do the same for me."

Both of our eyes were watering as we hugged. We stayed in this position until it hurt and then we parted. Joint had in hand we walked over towards Cream.

She was busy arranging the flowers Rouge had brought and also throwing away the old wilted ones. Me and Rouge got to work helping her do so. Although we worked in silence, my mind was not at ease...  
Am I doing the right thing?  
What would Sonic say?  
Will Rouge really stand by me, even if I do get an abortion?  
Do I really want an abortion?  
Why do I keep on thinking of that day, when I tried to commit suicide?  
Why can't Rouge say I tried to commit suicide?  
Did I really hurt them all that much?  
If I told Sonic would it really be that bad?  
Who's everyone to judge?  
When did all this happen?  
When will it all end?

Finally I decided to share one of my thoughts with my two companions. After all they do say a problem shared is a problem halved. In addition Rouge and Cream have helped so much already.

"I'm not sure if I really want this abortion...Yet I don't think I want the ... the... b-ba-b-bab....." Come on Amy- its only lexis. Then again it's one that holds a connection, one that gives the thing life.

"...Bab-bb- I can't say it! And I don't want to tell Sonic! What is there left to do? Please help."

My two pals looked at each other before replying, "Amy, you need to help yourself. We will be there for support but in the end it's down to you. Only you can decide your path."

Rouge then added that Cream was right and that they would take me home and give me a few days to think it over before I did anything to rash.

And so here I am in Rouge's arms due to lack of sleep and the general feeling of fatigue thanks to my pregnancy.

I know my friend will help me no matter what, even if they aren't there to begin with.

Amy Rose x


	17. Entry 17

**Entry 17! This one's full of useless info and lot's of dialect but Amy's mind's all over the place and therefore her diary is a little bit too =D**  
**  
Useless facts =D**  
**Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds whereas dogs only have about 10! Meow!**  
**apparently- Most people button their shirt upwards- ( I don't though, comment if you do or don't lol =D)  
Most car horns honk in the key of 'F'**  
**  
Anyway enjoy and please R&R =3**

* * *

Dear Diary,

They told me to think it all over. And that's what I'm doing, thinking. Letting my thoughts fall free resembling a waterfall, yet a waterfall is gracious and elegant. My thoughts are not. Instead they are a mess, flowing out of control.

_Should I get an abortion?  
Shouldn't I get an abortion?  
Should I tell Sonic?  
Shouldn't I tell him?  
Should I?  
Shouldn't I?_

The same questions overflowing my mind, threatening to flood my heart and soul. Never in my life have I been as confused as to what I ought to do. What is the right thing, the most loving thing to do? Situation ethics, I'm asking for your help. Actually, I'm begging for help.

On the contrary, Rouge and Cream are right- I need to help myself. Hey isn't that of some scary movie with a psycho killer? Yeah I think it is, Sonic made me watch it with him once. It was an attempt of his to get me closer to him and I have to admit I spent the entire movie in his arms.

Enough about that 'cute' little anecdote, I need to figure out what I need to do with this embryo. God, I still can't call it a baby. Do you know how annoying that is? Very. It's very agitating!

Well I need some answers to my questions, so better start thinking seriously. As if I haven't already...

Urgh, sorry about that-morning sickness taking over.

Now where was I, oh yes thinking...

Maybe I should just run away!  
_Amy! You can't say that, what about your friends? Your husband?_  
They wouldn't notice...  
_Oh yes, forgive me. Of course they wouldn't notice that their best friend was missing..._

Wait! And I assumed nothing could get any worse. Well I never considered the fact I may start talking to _myself. _In addition; I'm losing!

All this debating is giving me a headache. I need to lie down before I start hallucinating!

Lying down in my bed I rest my head and shut my heavy eyes. I cannot sleep despite the fact I'm so tired. I'm far to stressed to do anything but close my eyes and think of a happier place.

....!!!!!

At last an answer and a decision. Stumbling upon this idea I leapt out of bed and practically fell down the stairs. I have an answer and my friends need to know it.

Ignoring the stares my husband is producing; I pick up our house phone and start dialling the familiar number of my 'partner in crime'.

"Knuckles? ...Hi, is Rouge there? ...Thanks....Rouge! ...What, no.... Let me speak then... Its okay but I've come to a decision...No I'll tell you tomorrow... No, not over the phone... Are you busy tomorrow? ...Well I thought we could go shopping...Sure see you at 11? ...I'll get Sonic to drop us off...Okay, bye...Wait, you still there? ... Oh good, can you ring Cream and tell her? ...Thanks"

After she hung up I also put mine down. Turning around and looking at my husband with puppy dog eyes, I almost felt normal again. I walked up to him and kissed him on the lips, buttering up for my request.

"Sonic?" I paused to flutter my eyelashes at him.

"What do you want?" Damn he saw through my disguise.

"Well, are you busy tomorrow? I mean can you drop me and the girls off in town? And pick us up later on?" I pouted my lips, something he finds irresistible and cannot refuse.

"Fine, call me when you want picking up again." I placed both my hands on his shoulders before I kissed him on the cheek, then I skipped away to our room leaving him blushing. After all these years and I can still make him blush.

Lying down in my bed I was thinking of my choice and how I'm sure I made the right one. I'm starting to feel sleepy, so I'm going to have a nap. After all I need my strength for tomorrow; it's the first in a long time I've been out shopping with my gals. I'm going to be tired later.

Amy Rose x


	18. Entry 18

**Entry 18! Wow I never expected this story to come so far! And for all those who have reviewed- a BIG thank you.**  
**Thank you- daneliz', Angel-Demon1, Rachel-1994, Shadow the Hedgehog4 and my Anonymous reviewer!  
Please R&R =D  
Random facts-  
**_**The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.**_  
_**"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order**_  
**_On average a hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute (Go Sonic's, Amy's, Silver's, Manic's, Shadow's... You get the point...heart 3=D_)**

_

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_

Dear Diary,

I woke up feeling semi-good today. I had something to look forward to, shopping. I woke up feeling that I had no worries...

But then the morning sickness came! Dragging me back down to reality and I landed with a thump.

Anyway, despite that little symptom, everything has been okay so far. I mean Sonic made me breakfast, which wasn't burnt. And thankfully no tea, I still can't stand the smell of it due to my little 'bump'.

Then I got changed into some baggy-ish ripped jeans, considering I can't fit into my other ones and a graffiti styled top (which conceals my 'bump'). Occupying my feet are some black pumps. Overall I don't look half bad.

After I got dressed Sonic drove me to pick up the girls and he kindly dropped us off in town. Before I got out of the car though he leaned over towards me gave me a quick kiss and handed me £50, "Treat yourself on me, now go before the girl send out a search party. Oh and text me when you want picking up, okay?" He said before leaning completely over me and opening my door for me. Then he drove off.

The first thing the girls said to me after Sonic was out of ear shot was, "So... What's the decision?" Seriously do they have no patience? Actually I already know the answer to that. I told them that time would tell, meaning I would reveal my answer later.

Now here I'm sat, a few hours later, waiting for Rouge to return with our lunches. Cream is sat next to me but she's too distracted with the new plane paint she bought, mentally debating in her head if Tails will like the colour.

Cream and Tails have been dating now for 6 years; they would have gotten together sooner if it wasn't for their young ages.

Rouge is back with the lunches now as she sets down the chips and diet cokes in front of us. We thank her. As they begin to eat their chips I decided this was the moment to tell them about my choice, "I'm going to..." I froze.

Was this the time, when they are all peaceful? Should I really cause a fuss? But they are my friends...

No, I decided against it.

"Yes? What you going to do?" Oh thankfully they did not fix up all the pieces to this jigsaw.

"I'm going to... urm... get some chocolate? Want some?" Chocolate? Well that was lame...

"I mean... a smoothie... No a... an ice-cream...No a... Never mind!" Way to go! That was one way to act cool and collected, not!

"...Oh-kay then..." Cream said before taking a sip of her drink.

I, myself, looked down in embarrassment, my cheeks burning up. I also took a swig of my drink.

As we all finished our meals one by one, we then decided to carry on...

"SHOPPING!" We all exclaimed simultaneously.

For the next few hours we ran around the town, screaming at the cute tops and killer heels, the flashing jewels.

One in particular caught my eye; it was a small elegant jewel in the shape of rose. The petals were made from rubies and the stem was made of the finest green emerald. I looked down at the price, it read £50. In my heart I felt as if this jewel was meant to be mine, Sonic wouldn't have given me exactly the right amount if not. Okay that's a bit of an exaggeration, but still. I rush into the shop and purchase the jewel also known as 'Thy Rose'. The name itself does not reflect the beauty of the object though.

Aimlessly we walk around the town, looking for clothes and shoes, CDs. Basically anything that takes our fancy really.

Looking around at the shops, I notice a cute little milkshake stall. I point this out to my gals and we head over. Each of us has a taste to our own, yet we all like the same flavours. So as a compromise we all got a different shake and would let the others share it. I choose white chocolate, Rouge choose mango and passion fruit and Cream got a chocolate brownie. They looked and smelt delicious. Tasted even better!

Continuing on our way, I noticed a shop. A little shop containing little things, miniature things, baby tings! This shop brought me crashing down to the bitter coldness I know as my life. Making a mental note in my head to keep everyone away from it, I decided that now was the time to tell them my decision.

"So... I guess you guys want to know my decision, eh?" They nodded in response; yes they did want to know my final choice.

"Okay, let's go find somewhere more private, than the middle of town. I don't exactly want the whole world to know." I smiled while leading them off to a sheltered part of the city's park.

As we walked I could hear them talking, not so quietly, to each other about my decision.

"What do you think she'll do?" Cream pondered.  
"Never mind what she'll do, I wonder what she'll call it?"  
"You think she'll keep it?"  
"She doesn't have the heart to kill it!" Rouge stated in a whisper.

Finally we reached the patch of land I was searching for. Rouge looked around and whistled, showing her approval! We sat down underneath a small blossom tree, using its shade to cool us down. Rouge took a drink just as I opened my mouth to reveal my secret result,

"I'm getting the abortion!" The words flew out of my mouth with ease due to the many rehearsals in my thoughts.

Poor Cream was nearly showered with a fruit smoothie as Rouge spat out her beverage in shock, she thought I didn't have the heart.

"Are...Are you sure? Amy?" Cream asked timidly.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm going to book it soon. Will you come with me? I understand if not." They both nodded and embraced me, tight.

We stayed like this for ages until Rouge broke it by saying, "Amy, I could never fully understand what you're going through but I just want you to know... to know that I'm proud of you. You're so young but you've been through so much and you're still fighting. You've miraculously still got strength to pull through. And I've said this before but you need to know that I couldn't do it, even with everyone's help. You've been there for me in tough times and helped me see the light. For those reasons, I'll come with you, hold your hand and generally try to support you." Rouge finished with a few tears and a hug.

Cream also spoke up, "Yeah, Rouge is right. We're you're friends and you've helped us out loads. It's now our turn to return the favour." This short monologue was also ended with a cuddle.

And now it's time for me to go home and face Sonic... I think we'll walk.

Amy Rose x


	19. Entry 19

**Entry 19! Hope you like it! =D**

**Random Facts  
Children grow faster in the springtime.  
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.  
30% of Chinese adults live with their parents.  
Please R&R =D**

* * *

Dear Diary,

So Sonic yelled at me when I got back, that's new! Am I being selfish? He just makes me feel so useless and selfish. I don't like it, but in a way I guess he's right. During the last few weeks I have been pretty selfish, only doing something for my own self gain.

He claimed he was worried about me, because I didn't call him to pick us up. Oh and the fact that I arrived home after 11pm. But that wasn't my fault, I honestly lost track of time. Now I can see how that seems strange considering we left the park at 4pm and it only takes about 40 minutes to get to our individual houses.

But after we all departed to take the final part of our journey home, I ditched. Instead of going home I went to a secret spot just outside the city, one that only I know about. And I stayed there in a somewhat trance, just thinking. Thinking about everything, I was so consumed in my thought that I didn't even notice the sun setting and the darkness taking over. That's how dazed I was.

Although, when I did finally realise it was getting late I didn't really care. I took my time arriving home, making a few stops along the way. And when I did finally arrive at my 'home sweet home', boy did I get a welcoming!

I went to unlock our door, stumbling with the key, but found that it was already open. This shocked me. We always locked the door after 10:30, always. So as I opened the door, I fell in with a thump. Giggles escaped my mouth as I tried to get up. Normally falling over wouldn't of been that humorous to me but in my current condition it was hilarious.

Getting up I looked around my living room, looking out for anything unusual. But I was faced with silhouettes of furniture and darkness.

Darkness, hmmm, something that seems to be filling up my life at the moment.

Anyway, I was faced with nothing but darkness. I stumbled and tumbled towards the wall trying to find the light switch to eliminate my life with life. But it appeared that the switch had been moved, at least that's what I thought at the time. Now I realise I was just in the wrong place.

Eventually I found the switch after searching for ages and the lights flickered on. My hand flew over my eyes, an instinct, to keep my sight from fading. It never occurred to me that everything was almost a blur anyway.

As soon as I was accustomed with the newly found light I removed my hand from my orbs revealing a hedgehog sat waiting on the sofa. He wasn't watching TV, listening to music or even reading. No he was just sat, rigid. And before a minute ago he was just sat, rigid, in the dark.

"You're back." He stated flatly.

"Hehe..." I tried to muffle my laughter but it didn't work.

"Do you know what time it is? I've been sat here for ages wondering if you're safe or not. No message or phone call." He raised his voice at me.

"Who are you, my mother?" There was no point trying to control my words, it could simply not be done.

"Just go to bed Amy, you clearly need some sleep." He mumbled in defeat, he was too tired to put up with my drama.

I still dread to think of what I said next, it was honestly not me talking...

"Sure, I'll go to bed. But I don't think I'll be getting much sleep!" I winked at him flirtatiously.

Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

"Amy, go to bed!" It was not an option, but alternatively a command, "You're drunk and that's very obvious. So before you do something you will regret, get some sleep and clear your system of any alcohol."

Before I do something I regret? Please, did he not just hear what I said?

At any rate, things did get worse...

I looked up at him gaining full eye contact for the first time before doing exactly what he said- clearing my system of any alcohol, all over his shoes. Oops!

That was the last thing I can remember until I woke up this morning. I was dressed in my pyjamas and tucked up nicely in bed. When I went down to get breakfast, there was no sick. Sonic must have cleaned it up and put me into bed.

But there was no sign of him from when I awoke to when I left to get the abortion. Rouge had phoned me after our shopping spree to tell me, but I wasn't in. Thankfully Sonic took a message and Rouge didn't let slip about what the phone call was all about.

Now Sonic never told me in person but he did leave a note. It read-  
_Amy,  
I've gone to Tails' for a night or so. Our constant arguing isn't healthy, so I've gone there to give us a bit of space. If you want to contact me you know how.  
I love you and I don't want this- whatever 'this' is- to come between us.  
All my love,  
Sonic x  
P.s Rouge rang while you were gone. She told me to tell you, "It's booked, tomorrow at 11. We'll pick you up. Be ready!"  
Whatever it is, I hope you have a good time._

And so here I'm sat in the abortion clinic, constantly checking the time- 10:40am. Also wondering if Sonic got my text and what he makes of it.

_Sorry. A x_

But what am I sorry for?  
Our arguments?  
Our relationship or lack of?  
Or the abortion?

10:43- 17 minutes to go.

Rouge and Cream are both here for support but I don't really want them coming into see the doctor with me, it's something I need to do alone.

10:48- 12 minutes to go.

They are my best friends but sometimes friendship can't cure everything.

10:55- 5 more minutes until this will all be over.

A purple tiger appears in the waiting room. She is holding a clipboard and her attire is a long white jacket. She must be the specialist I'm about to see.

10:58!

"Amy Rose."

Well here goes...

Amy Rose x


	20. Entry 20

**Okay, Entry 20! Never expected I'd get so far =D But anyway on with the story.**  
**I'm sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but it's got it's reasons =D**

**Now I'm betting most of you want to know about the abortion... Well this is it!**

**Random facts-  
****Q. **What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?  
**A.** He was allergic to carrots.  
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase "**goodnight, sleep tight**".

**Now hense forward with the story... =P Hope you enjoy**

* * *

Dear Diary,

OMG!

OMG!

OMG!

Okay maybe I should explain...

But where should I begin, it's all a blur. Nothing seems real anymore. How about I start at the beginning?

Well, the doctor had just called me in as it was now my appointment to get rid of the baby...

Yes, the baby! I can finally say it; the small little word no longer gets the better of me. But do I want it? I can't answer that... I don't have much of a choice really.

Anyway, she was really nice and very supportive.

"Now, I'm going to run you through with what's happening. Is that okay? If not just say so now." She told me. And everything was okay, at that moment in time or so I thought.

She told me what was going to happen, that she would inject my stomach as I was too far along in my pregnancy for pills. The thought alone did freak me out slightly I'll admit, the thought of that needle piercing my skin. Even now, just thinking about it is making me feel nauseous.

So she prepared the bed and the syringe, also. Then, the next thing I know I'm sat on the bed, about to be de-babied.

I cannot say my thought were straight and organised, truth was they were far from anything but manic.

I was thinking the following;

-Do I really want to kill this baby?  
-Baby? Did I just say baby?  
-Do I really want to keep this baby?  
-What will Sonic think if he finds out?  
-Rouge is right...

My thought were however brought to an end as I felt Dr. Jones' cold, gloved arm lift up my baggy top to reveal my expanded tummy. I jolted from her touch and curled up into a defensive ball at the sight of the needle, make it two needles! I didn't expect to see double of this sight and it only made me curl into a smaller, tighter ball.

"Do you need a few minutes? I don't want to rush you, take your time." She reassuringly told me. But it didn't work. Nonetheless I let her continue with her job.

The small tip of the silver 'tool' came closer towards my stomach. My abdomen became rapidly tense as 'it' came closer. Closer towards me and closer towards my baby, the one I'm not sure if I want. Suddenly the world froze in time and space. Not physically but from my point of view it could have done. There I sat in the frozen universe, just thinking. Recently a new hobby of mine- thinking.

I was however dragged out of my daze by a small pinprick touching my belly, she was about to inject me!

However I jumped 10 ft in the air... Okay not exactly 10 ft but close, preventing her from penetrating my skin.

Then next thing I know, my eyes had filled with tears and I was running down the street, trying to get away from that place. Although I wasn't alone, Rouge and Cream were following closely behind trying to keep up with my surprisingly fast pace.

And that's why I'm sat here, at Rouge's. They are bombarding me with questions such as, what happened. I can't go home, I'm too scared. And well I was partially dragged here...

I don't know what happened though, but I do know this. Abortion is NOT the answer! Despite the pain, I can't do it. Rouge was right; I don't have the heart. Even if mine is telling me different things all at once...

Amy Rose x


	21. Entry 21

**Entry 21- sorry for the wait =D Anyway hope you like it and please R&R =3**

**Random facts**  
**-One suicide victim who committed suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge left behind a note saying: "I'm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump" ( Just think how much a smile can do =D Make someone's day, or maybe life- give a smile once in a while)**  
**-Infants spend more time dreaming than adults do.  
-Children are more allergic to cockroaches than they are to cats!**

* * *

Dear Diary,

It's over. I honestly think it's over...

It just doesn't make sense though. Every time it replays over in my memory, I still can't find the trigger cause. Or it might even be trigger causes. Maybe I'm just in denial or maybe I can't accept it.

I've also just realised I could be talking about two things. I could be talking about the abortion, which happened over three days ago. Since that incident I've not been the same, in my opinion the reality of what I was about to do has finally kicked in. Sure I've been thinking about an abortion for the majority of the time I've known about it, but did I really think about all the factors of it? I don't think I did.

When I arrived back from Rouge's house with red puffy eyes, that look has stuck with me. For the last three days I've done nothing but cry and had very little sleep in result. I look dreadful and my skin is very pasty.

While I was crying all I could think of was my friends and family and how they would react _if_ I told them.

Shadow-He'd be disappointed in me, heartbroken that I couldn't open up to him.  
Knuckles-He'd be fed-up because I kept it from everyone.  
Tails-He'd feel sad, sad about Eternity, sad about keeping it a secret from Sonic and also himself and generally sad that I had to scoop to that level.

I managed to think of what everyone else would feel bar my husband. That's not normal at all. If anything he should have been the first to know. He should be the one I tell everything, the one person I can open up to. But that's not the case for me and this situation.

My saddened aura unfortunately did not go unmissed...

That brings me on to the next possible reason for my confused state of mind. But the sad thing is this is the actual reason. Sonic and I got into another fight! One I'm not sure we can just forget.

It all started with Sonic asking me what exactly was my problem. Now sure a husband can ask his wife that but not in the tone he used. It was not a caring tone but instead it had a harsh demanding edge to it. I was in shock that he spoke to me like that, I really didn't expect it. However over the last month I've begun to realise you can't really expect anything. What happen happens; it's as simple as that. Whether you like it or not, it's the truth. So take my advice, don't try and predict anything. This fight has caused me to realise this more.

I looked at him with burning eyes, so sharp like a butchers' knife. He didn't recoil back as I thought he would. He stayed firmly planted on the floor as if his feet had grown roots, attaching him to the ground.

He spoke again with a nicer tone but not a fully caring one, "Amy, whether you like it or not I will find out." His voice became kind after that 'warning'. "Also whether you like it or not I'm your husband and I want you to feel okay. I want you to be happy and stop all this crying, it breaks my heart seeing you this way."

Despite his caring tone and words I burst into more tears, the river flowing from my eyes could not be stopped or controlled. The reason I was crying was because he wanted to help so badly but for that to happen he would have to know about it all. This however wasn't an option at the time.

But the fight really began to kick off when Sonic came to hug me, trying to comfort me. Yet this didn't comfort me. As soon as his arms began to wrap around my body I jolted up into the air, this was followed by me bolting to the other side of the room. He looked at me hurt, unable to read my mind which clearly screamed "DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!"

I don't know why I had suddenly developed this fear of him touching me. Maybe it was because I didn't want him feeling the bump in my abdomen or maybe it was for the reason that I have become very jumpy lately. I guess I'm paranoid now. But for whatever reason I didn't want him to comfort me, I didn't deserve it.

Over the last month I've done things that I could not even dream of. If someone asked me a year ago what I thought I'd be doing now, I wouldn't have answered "I'm hiding the fact I'm pregnant from my husband who's constantly worried about me. And in my spare time I'm crying, thinking or fighting with Sonic."

But Sonic didn't take this to well. His caring eyes glazed over with anger. He finally snapped, my behaviour over the last month must have become too much for him to bear. I think it's safe to say this was the trigger cause.

"Amy! For god sake, I'm your husband and yet I'm treated like dirt, like you couldn't care less. I'm sick of it! What we have, I wouldn't call it marriage Amy. But yet I still love you. When we got married I took my vows, I said I would love you for better or worse, until death do us part..."

And what did I say, the worst thing ever. I can still picture the words flowing out of my mouth and into the atmosphere before finally reaching his ears.

"Who said it had to be our death? Maybe our marriage was over when Eternity died..."

Amy Rose x


	22. Entry 22

**Entry 22! Hope you like it =D Please R&R =3  
****  
Random facts-  
**-It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in- law with All the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the honeymoon.  
-The first novel ever written on a typewriter: **Tom Sawyer.  
The poll is about to be closed for Random Facts- So if you like them or not, please vote so I know =D Thanks!**

**Now on with the story. What's in store for Amy after her argument? =P**

* * *

Dear Diary,

It can't be over it just can't. I don't want our marriage to be over. Despite the lies I've been telling and the arguments I've started, I still love him.

I clutch the wheel tighter, pressing my foot down allowing the car to gain in speed. I need to see him now. I don't know if I'm ready to tell him about our baby, but I need him to know I didn't mean what I said.

"Who said it had to be our death? Maybe our marriage was over when Eternity died..."

The words are still replay over in my head, like a loved movie. But this one features horror and pain. A movie only watched by sadistic humans, the type of people that enjoy pain and angst. The words aren't even true. I love him with all my heart and I never want our love to end. I don't know where the cruel words came from but I know they did not originate in my heart.

His sadden and shocked expression is imprinted at the front of my mind, unable to disappear from my memory. I cannot block it out or cover it up. His eyes are numb, holding no sparkle. Yet I can see the emotions swimming though the green orbs, the very ones about to spill the contents of an ocean.

Once the words had flown out of my uncontrollable mouth, I ran. I ran to get away from everything. I ran to get away from Sonic, my emotions and my current situation. I ran, hoping that the fast pace and strong wind would preoccupy me.

But now I realise that you can run away from your problems, but they will chase you and eventually they will catch up.

This realisation hit me as I slowed down to catch a breath. The wind around my seemed to stop and my legs gave way, resulting in a pink coloured heap. Upon reaching the ground my own eyes let down the barriers and out came a thousand tears. I cried for my mistakes, sobbed for my words and I wailed for my babies-Eternity and the unborn child. Once I let down the barriers it was hard to put them back up. I sat and cried on that spot until there were not enough fluids in my body to cry anymore.

Due to my crying I had become very dehydrated and I was in desperate need of a drink. The bad thing was the nearest place to me was the club. Now in my current state I didn't stop and think. That's my problem, thinking. I think too much and then I don't think at all. Let's just say that I came out of the club very happy and also very light headed.

Stumbling home while in my drunken state I could only think, again with the thinking! I knew I had done wrong, the alcohol didn't need to tell me this, but it made my memories more vivid. While watching the scene unfold over and over again I ran to our cosy house, as best as I could considering.

When I entered the house I frantically searched everywhere for Sonic but instead I found a note. Thankfully the dash home had sobered my up and I was no longer drunk. But maybe the reality would have been easier to face if I was drunk.

_Dear Amy, _

_I will not lie to you. Your words have wounded my deep, like I've been stabbed by a dagger. Yet I feel I would prefer to have just been stabbed. I never really knew words could hurt so bad until now._

_Despite my pain, I can see you are not happy. In fact, you haven't truly been happy in a while now. For this reason I'm going to stay out of your way for a few days, hell even weeks if it means you will be happy again. I won't tell you were I am but I won't be too far away if you need help. I don't want to hurt you in any way, be it physically or mentally. Truth be told I also don't want to be hurt, I don't think I could bare it._

_I don't want us to split up over a stupid argument, actually a few stupid arguments, but I respect your space and I'm giving it to you. We both need this time to calm down. _

_However if I'm hoping for too much then... (...This means Sonic has scribbled it out but it's still slightly visible. Only applies for letter) __  
__If you really meant what you said..._

_If I've gotten this all wrong and you did really mean what you said, then I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted. I'm sorry I couldn't make you happy. I'm sorry for not being the husband you expected. I'm sorry we lost a child... I'm sorry. I'm just sorry for everything that went wrong._

_I love you Amy, I always have and I always will. No matter what I'll always love you. I just want to be a part of your life. But I can settle with just knowing you are okay. _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Sonic the Hedgehog xxx_

_Ps. Would Eternity want this?... _

As soon as I had read this I was in the car faster than the speed of light and driving off to my destination- Tails and Cream's house.

That is where I am now, driving towards my husband, about to attempt to save my marriage. Picturing the moment in my head brings a smile to my lips. I'm in his arm, embraced in a loving hug. We are both kissing and telling each other how much we love each other...

However I'm soon dragged out of this sight as I see a pair of bright headlights coming straight at me. I don't know what to do, but it's too late to react...

Amy Rose x


	23. Entry 23

**Dear readers, I want to thank you all for reading this so far =D  
Especially Rachel-1994,** Shadow the Hedgehog4, **Angel-Demon1**, _A-amy_, My reviewer with no name and **_Daneliz' _Thank you all so much for reviewing  
****I'd like to dedicate this chapter to all you reviewer! =D So I hope you like!**

**Anyway Random Facts-  
Parker Brothers prints about 50 billion dollars worth of Monopoly money in one year  
On average, there are 333 squares of toilet paper on a roll. (Because you all wanted to know =P)**

Now on with Entry 23.  
I'm honestly so happy the story has come so far =D

* * *

Dear Diary,

What happened? The last thing I remember is... Actually what can I remember?

I was driving around looking for someone. I'm not sure who I was in search of... Wait! I was looking for Sonic because... Because... I can't remember, I think we had an argument or something.

Yes! That's it I was looking for Sonic because we had been in an argument. I can't remember how it started but I can clearly remember how it ended, with those awful words of venom.

I was driving, desperately hoping he would forgive me and our marriage would be okay...

But then everything ended and I'm left in this state. One where I can barely remember anything, one where I cannot feel any pain...

Oh god! I think I spoke too soon. I'm cannot see anything but that doesn't stop the pain in my chest from just flaring up and shocking me.

What happened? Why am I in so much pain? And... And whose voices are they?

"_Will she be okay?"  
"What happened?"  
"What state is she in? Is it critical?"  
"When will she wake up?" The voice then added, "Will she wake up?"_

I can't tell who they belong to but they sound so familiar. Why are they so worried?

Oh no! No! I was so careful my eyes were on the road. My memory of the incident has just returned. The blinding light shining upon my shocked face, the sound of tires screeching and then the impact that sent me flying and spinning in all directions. But that's all I can remember, nothing else. I need to know what happened! Where am I? Where's Sonic? My mind began to scream at me, "I want Sonic!"

If I was conscious right now my mouth would also be screaming for my beloved husband. Yet I'm not sure if I'm even alive.

Everything around me is black and there's nothing but silence in my head, yet I can hear the voices still. Also I can hear an ambulance siren, which must mean it's not too late. I can be saved, yes?

But listening to the voices I'm not too sure,

"_She'll make it, won't she?"  
"She'll make it." Someone said flatly.  
"Wait, what's going on? Do something! NOW!"_

The voices are fading and I can't hear anything. Is this the end? Will I never get to make it up to him? Will I never be held one last time in his arms? Never get to say goodbye to him and my friends? No it can't be the end it just can't.

"_CLEAR!"_

The voice fills my ears as my body jolts at the small current of electricity passing through.

"_AMY! Hold on! Don't you dare die on me! Amy Rose do you hear me!"  
"Sir I'm going to ask you to sit down. I'm already doing you a favour by having three of you in the ambulance."  
"Sonic, just sit down. Standing up shouting isn't going to help her." A voice I recognise as_ Rouge's tells him, her emotions clearly evitable in her voice.

Suddenly the sirens stop, I must be at the hospital.

"_SONIC! How is she?"  
"Will she make it?"  
"Are you okay, Sonic?" More voices fill up my surroundings._

"_Amy." He mumbles back to them. _

I would do anything to hear that voice again, anything to see him smile again and anything to be held in his arms. Oh please, let me make it.

"_Code 34, Get a doctor here immediately! She's losing a lot of blood and fast. An x-ray is needed, hurry!"_

I can hear the panic underneath the professional mask. My odds aren't looking to good; I can hear it in his voice.

"_What's wrong with her...? Never mind I can clearly see. She needs an x-ray now! Sonic, you're her husband right? Well before I take her down for scanning I need to know if she's pregnant or not?"_

"_No, she's not."_

Everything has just frozen in my own dimension. I don't know if they'll say anything, especially in front of Sonic. But if they don't say anything something could happen...

I can stop worrying now about what they will do as Rouge has just cleared it all up, not!

"_Wait! Amy can't go to get an x-ray, you'll have to do a cat-scan so they rays won't hurt the... the... Amy's pregnant." Rouge was clearly uneasy with telling them that as she then added, "I'm sorry Sonic. You have to understand. Amy's been through so much and she's seen years worth of pain beyond her youth. She wanted to tell you but she couldn't..."_

Everything was tense and even in my current state I could feel the tense atmosphere.

"_...It doesn't matter right now. What matters is keeping Amy alive." He finally spoke, understandably upset._

I feel so bad that he had to find out like that but I don't think I could have told him. But it might not matter for much longer as I can't feel any hope left inside me. My heart hurts too much and I can feel it metaphorically sinking down to the pit of my stomach.

Despite what Sonic said, I can tell he's upset and all he wants to do is to run away. Hell, I'd be long gone into the horizon if it was me. I'm just so sad that I can't tell him just how sad I am. I'm not even sure I'll be able to tell them all how sorry I am. I just hope this isn't the end. It's can't be, I've got so much I want to tell them all.

To tell Sonic I love him and without him I'd be nothing and for Rouge and Cream to know they are my best friends and that I'd never forget them. To let Shadow know without him I'd be devastated and also to instruct him to carry on smiling, to never go into the depressed state we all found him in. I need to tell Tails to look after Sonic and Cream for me. Knuckles needs to know that he's been a great friend and he should always treat Rouge right, or I'll personally come and haunt him. But they all need to know that I love them and without them I couldn't of lived.

So if this can't be the end!

Amy Rose x


	24. Entry 24

**Entry 24! Amazing how so much can come out of one simple idea =D**  
**Now I just want to clear up one thing- **  
**To those who are wondering how Amy's writing a diary I just want to say that she's not, nearly all of the chapters are 'wrote' down in her head. Lol =D**  
**Now that's cleared up...**

**Due to the results on my poll I will continue to add random facts to this story *cheers* =D Thank you if you voted =D**  
**Random facts**  
_-All babies are color blind when they are born._  
_-Approximately 70 percent of the earth is covered by water. Only 1 percent of this water is drinkable._  
_-The word 'News' is actually an acronym standing for the 4 cardinal compass points - North, East, West, and South!_  
_-People who are lying to you tend to look up and to the left (their left, you right =D)_

**Hope you like this entry anyway and please R&R =D**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm not too sure how long I've been in this state of unconsciousness. What seems like minutes could be hours here. Days could be seconds and years could be weeks, it's all messed up.

I'm still able to hear my friends worried voices and to be frank it's making me feel dreadful. It's however the only thing keeping my sane. I feel like it's my entire fault that my friends have had little sleep and then they spend the remaining hours of the day in a hospital, hoping that I'll make it...

"_Sonic, you look terrible, I'm sorry but have you had any sleep at all?" _

Rouge! She's been put under so much pressure lately. I can feel the awkwardness between her and Sonic, the tension in the air. Who ever knew that a simple baby could cause so much tension? I don't hold it against her though; she had to tell them for both my safety and the baby's safety.

"_How long has she known... Actually I don't want to know."_

"_Oh Sonic, honey, she wanted to tell you but she couldn't. She was scared..."_

"_Scared? Scared? I'm scared. Scared that my wife won't make it, scared that I can never tell her I love her again and scared that the last thought of us together was our argument. I'm scared to think; scared to think this accident might have been my entire fault. Would she have got in the car if we hadn't of argued, if I hadn't disappeared of to Tails'? Rouge you don't know how much this is killing me inside... I just want her to know I love her..."_

"_So tell her! I'm sure she can hear you, even in this state. Even if she can't hear you, she'll be able to feel you in her heart."_

Oh Sonic... Please don't think that, it wasn't your fault. How were you supposed to know the car was going to crash into me? I started that argument not you. Please don't blame yourself. These thought are swimming in my head but I have no way of telling him them.

"_It doesn't matter Rouge, she's been unconscious for six days now. I don't think she'll come around any time soon. She's been bleeding bucket loads and you saw the cut on her leg. Plus you heard what they doctors said, she might not even remember us if she does come around..."_

"_Amy Rose not remembering Sonic the Hedgehog! That'll be the day hell freezes over!" Rouge joked, trying to lighten the mood._

Six days, oh my... It doesn't feel that long but I guess it must be. No wonder everyone's so worried, I thought it had only been a day or maybe two. Rouge is right though, I could never forget Sonic! No matter how hard I tried.

"_Please Rouge just stop trying to make me feel better, it's not going to work. I'm so apprehensive at the moment. I'm barely sleeping right and Amy's not looking any better if anything she's getting worse. I know I'm being pessimistic but I can't be anything else."_

"_Sonic! Stop it! Would Amy want to see you like this would she? No, she wouldn't. Okay Amy's not going to get any worse..."_

It was almost like a jinx.

_Beep, beep, beep. Beeeeeeep! _

The line just stopped and in its place is the constant ringing.

"_AMY!"  
"NO! SOMEBODY, GET A DOCTOR NOW!!!!"  
"DON'T DIE! Amy... I love you." _The last part was whispered but I still heard it, I still felt it!

While this is happening I'm being surrounded by a dark, spine-chilling mist. It's gathering around my body and I can feel my heart throbbing harder, trying to pump a nonexistent source of oxygen around my veins. There's no point I can feel my lungs tighten and my breathing becomes hard. The mist covers me and everything stops.

I can't feel any pain but yet I can see a light in the background, it's closing in towards me. NO! This can't be the end; I won't go into the light, I will resist.

As if I had just triggered a magically spell, the light stops moving towards me but instead a person appears in the distance of the blinding light.

The silhouette appears to be female, judging by her figure. It's weird though because I think I recognise her. She looks as if she is carrying a delicate bundle in her arms. I wonder what it could be... Maybe a present, but you don't get presents for stopping the light do you?

She knows that I have seen her. But have I seen her? All I can she is a dark figure of a female hedgehog with a bundle in her arms. I cannot tell what her features are, I cannot tell what she is holding and I cannot tell if she is familiar.

I recognise a lot about her though, the way in which she walks and the way she holds the bundle is also familiar. But I don't know anyone who walks like that or holds things like that. How is it possible to recognise someone you don't know?

No words can properly describe how her presence makes me feel. She's like a guardian angel, protecting me. I feel warmth emitting of her and I feel safe here because of her. Her aura in a white colour meaning she is pure and sacred, this is also another feeling I'm getting from her. It's almost like I can connect myself to her.

She's nearly in front of me and I can clearly see her eyes, a pair of well-known jade ones. It's a shock to see such renowned eyes.

One more step and she'll be in the light but I'm not sure if I want to know her identity after the build up of suspense.

Her leg is lifted and it appears in the light, soon followed by her body...

Now I know why I recognise her...

Amy Rose x


	25. Entry 25

**Oh My God, this was one dramatic chapter to write! Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did writing it =D**  
**Entry 25... **  
**I don't know how many more entries there will be but I guestimated that there will be about 7 or 8 approx =P The stories nearly over ... =D**  
**Bet you're wondering who the figure is, well here they are =D**

**Random facts  
_Pageant Models often smear Vaseline on their teeth so their lips won't stick when smiling.  
Up to the age of six or seven months a child can breathe and swallow at the same time. An adult cannot do this.  
6% of men propose over the telephone!!! (who said romance was dead lol- it's the thought that counts) =P  
More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines. _**

**_( Beware of the vending machines they have attitude =D  
horror film titles featuring the vending machine- see if you can guess the original =D  
A nightmare under a vending machine  
My bloody vending machine  
Final Destination: Under a vending machine  
Texas chainsaw vending machine  
Vending machine: No one will hear you scream  
V-machine: I want to play a game =D_****_  
If you've got any more leave a review telling =D ) and yeah I'm slightly hyper LOL =3_**

**_Hope you like =D _**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Now I know why I recognise her...

Oh my god! Never in my life did I expect to see her standing in front of me. Not after...Not after she died. Not after the way she was taken away from me so cruelly.

I'm in shock; I don't know whether I should laugh or cry, faint or scream or just stand here and do nothing. It can't be possible but yet here she is face to face with me. Maybe this is just a dream, one that I will remember for ever but could my dreams be so twisted as to take her away from me again. I've already gone through the pain of losing her once; I couldn't go through with it again. I remember the little time we spent together and how it was so painful to let her go.

I can clearly see that she is not just an illusion but I'm not sure if she is touchable. There's only one way to find out and here it goes. I extend out my arm and it wavers in front of her, I'm not ready to feel the contact if there is any. It's been so long since we last hugged.

I can no longer take the suspense and neither can she. She slowly positions the bundle in a comfortable position and touches my hand pulling it closer to her thorax until it finally rests on her heart. The very heart which wasn't supposed to be beating but yet was still working, I could feel it pulsing underneath my touch. This is beyond crazy! She shouldn't be alive but yet she is!

What is going on? Where am I? Why is everything dark yet I can see everything perfectly, yet the only things to see are me and this woman with her unknown bundle?

"My dear, do not be afraid. You are safe here." Her soft delicate voice rings in my ears.

My thought are focused on one thing and one thing only, they're stuck in replay circling my mind.

"Am I dead?"

"Ha, it's good to see you haven't changed my darling. Still a little blunt aren't we? I'm glad you haven't changed that much but, gosh... I can't even begin to... You've grown so much, changed so much also. The last time we were together you were just a small little angel and now you're still as beautiful as ever if not more; you're a full grown woman, a wife! I've missed out so much in your life. Oh Amy..."

The tears fell down her petite pale face. I couldn't take it anymore, the sadness in her eyes yet the joy in her heart was obvious in the air.

"Mum... Please don't cry! I've missed you too. I can't believe you're actually here, wherever here is. The day you died... It broke me apart..."

"Oh Amelia it's so good to see you but please don't remember me like that. Remember the good times we had, you do remember them don't you? Now I've got someone you should see, I'm sure you'll love her."

Someone I've got to see? But there's no one else around here...

As if she read my thoughts, "They are here Amy, dear."

I look around taking in every detail of the darkness. There is no one else here but me and her.

"They're here," She touched my heart, "in here."

I'm still confused as to whom she's on about and she seems to notice this as she whispers something into the bundles' ear. The bundle moves and I'm shocked, I didn't know it was a living thing. She sets the unknown living thing onto the ground and it turns in a clumsy way to face me. The blanket from around her body falls to the floor and I'm left staring into the green eyes of a child.

At first glance I don't recognise the small human. But then small features shine out to me from all the rest such as:  
-The lively jade green eyes,  
-a cheeky grin belonging to only one other person  
- and the pale lilac colour of her fur.

She looks so beautiful, standing there gazing at me as I am her. We stay in this intense position for a few minutes but it's soon broken with her running towards me and vice versa. I scoop her up in my arms, carefully so I don't break her. Her warmth is amazing and the love is surging through me into her body and it's being returned in great amounts.

My baby is where she belongs, safe in my embrace. If only she didn't die, if I could of had a few more precious moments with her. But it would have been even more painful to say goodbye.

Speaking of goodbye, I never did find out if I'm dead or not.

"Mum, tell me the truth. Am I dead?"

"My dear, you have all the time in the world here with us. Why waste it wondering about things that are or are not? If you are still curious after our little conversation then you can ask again, but later. Now answer me this- you're pregnant yes?

I've just realised I don't like not knowing if I'm dead of not. But if I have all the time in the world to spend here doesn't that mean I'm dead because here I am, somewhere, talking to my dead mother and baby... So I too must be dead, yes? No? Oh I don't know.

Wait, what am I meant to say to that...

"Well, it's complicated." She looked at me quizzically while I looked down at my two year old daughter still held tight in my arms; she was fast asleep comfortably snuggled into me, using my shoulder as a pillow.

"I'm pregnant, yes..." I continued, "But I'm not sure if I want it..."

I looked down in humiliation. I didn't want to see the look on her face because of what I just told her, I did not want to see the look of disappointment that was waiting.

But it never came. Instead I felt her arms snake around me and I was soon resting my own head against my mother's shoulder much like my daughter was with me.

"Why is that my child?"

"I'm scared mum. I'm scared that it will happen again, scared that I won't be able to cope. Scared about what Sonic will think. I'm just scared."

"Amelia, answer me this. Do you love him? Do you trust him? Do you want to spend forever with him?"

How could she ask me these questions, I thought it would of been obvious.

Once again she 'reads' my mind.

"Yes you do, of course you do. It's natural that you feel scared my baby, I'd be worried if you weren't. But just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again..."

I was about to interrupt her, but she sensed this and my words were overpowered.

"It also doesn't mean that it'll never happen again. I can't predict the future but I can tell you this. Whatever happens he'll be there for you. Would you rather go through this alone or with his help? Now your time is almost up, you'll have to face it sometime."

I was listening intently to what she had to say that I became confused. My time is almost up?

"You said I have forever to spend with you."

"Yes, you do. If that is what you choose."

If that is what I choose? This isn't making any sense!

"Amy, do you love this child?"

Her words took me by surprise. I've never really thought about whether or not I love it. I'm not sure if I want it in case it dies so that must mean... Well I could just not want to go through the pain of losing someone close to me, but that must mean... If I'm scared of losing it then I must not want to lose it which means... I must ... I must love it.

"You know what to do Amy! I believe in you, I believe you will do the right thing. Now your choice; you asked me 'Am I dead?' and the truth is no, not yet. You're choice is simple but hard. Do you want to stay with me and Eternity and spend the rest of time with us in our world? Or do you want to go back to your friends, your 'family' and your husband who will all miss you deeply if you died? I know you will do the right thing but you have to choose. You can't stay in this universe forever Amy..."

She paused letting me digest the drastic information, letting me think over my options-

"You have to choose; Life or Death!"

Amy Rose x


	26. Entry 26

**Entry 26! Two updates in one day, lol I'm on a roll =D **  
**Hope you like it and sorry for the suspense caused in the last chapter =D**

**Random facts**  
**Food can only be tasted if it is mixed with saliva.**  
**Frogs cannot swallow without blinking.**

Hope you like it and please R&R =D

* * *

Dear Diary,

She paused letting me digest the drastic information, letting me think over my options-

"You have to choose; Life or Death!"

Never in my life, funny that I should say that, life the very thing I have control over. Never in my life have I ever had to make a decision as crazy as this. I've so much to gain but so much to lose. It's sad really, either way I have to lose people that mean so much to me.

But with two of these people I've already lost them, could I do it again? I look down at the sleeping form of my little angel. She's grown up so much in the last two years and I've missed all of that. I was never there to hear her first words or see her first steps. Do I want to miss out on more of that?

And my mother, we haven't seen each other in nineteen long years, could I manage another nineteen? She didn't get to see me grow up, she didn't get to see my wedding or meet my friends. Maybe I should ask her what I should do. But in the end it's all down to me really. But I want to know how much not seeing me affected her life, or lack of.

My thoughts are brought back to the stirring form of my daughter, my angel. She's so beautiful. Her eyes the same shade of green as her father's much like her cheeky grin. Her small hands are resting over my heart as she sleeps. Her quills are much like my younger style, spiky and longish. She looks a lot think her father in physical appearance. But I cannot mention her personality as I have no idea. Is she naughty or nice, cheeky or polite? Will I ever know?

Yeah, I'll find this out when I die? But when will that be? Now or later?

What about all my friends that I'll be leaving behind if I die. I'll never get to tell them everything they need to know. Sonic will never know I'm sorry, that I'm sorry for everything that's recently been going on. I'll never get to see his smile again; never get to hear his voice again.

And then there's the baby. If I die not only will it be me but the baby will be destroyed to. Life is never simple and it appears death isn't either. I can't just think of myself, what about everyone else involved in my life.

"Mum, I don't know what to do. Whatever option I choose I loss someone important. Please, help me."

"Amelia, I can't help you. This is your own life; you have to solve this problem yourself. You need to think, can you manage never seeing your friends again until they themselves die? Can you survive losing me and Eternity again? Whatever option you choose I'll support you. I know the right answer's there in your heart and you can find it if you search deep enough."

"But..."

She's right, she's totally right. Only I can solve this but whether I get the right solution is a different matter.

I looked down at my baby girl and her small body is splashed with a thousand tears, I know what I need to do for my own sanity. But it's not exactly the choice I want. Then again neither of them are.

She begins to wake up in my arms and she sees me crying.

"Mummy! Douwn't cwy! Pwease!"

Oh god, she can talk! Oh I can't take this anymore! I lift her up and quickly hand her over to my mother before turning around and breaking down. I can hear Eternity struggling to get free from my mum's grip and I notice she has succeeded when tiny arms are flung around my body. I automatically tense up and in a low but sturdy voice I say, "Get her of me! Please."

I know it's so cruel to just scoot her away after not seeing her for two years but it makes my decision so much easier.

"I need to go back!"

"Amy..." My tense body is left to wilt as I'm embraced into a comforting hug. This doesn't stop the pain but I know it is the right choice. Eternity's face has just dropped and I can feel the tears falling freely from my eyes. My mother, Renée, rushes towards her and tells her to go stand near the portal they appeared through. She obeys the order. Turns out she's a good child.

"It's the right thing to do for everyone. It may not seem like it but it is," I push her away and continue, "and Mum please don't, just don't. I've already had to say goodbye to you once, don't make this any harder. I know you are safe and so is Eternity so I'm okay to leave you. But I can't survive another good bye so I'm just going to go. Tell Eternity I'll see her again, one day and I'll stay forever that time. I've got to go now or I might never leave. I'll see you again mother, until then look after her okay? And thanks..."

"Until then..." She hugged me, despite my earlier words I felt myself melt into the hug but soon she began to fade and slowly disappear. Eternity also began to fade away into my wildest dreams, her sad yet understanding expression going away slowly.

I can hear faint noises in the distance but I cannot make out what they are...

OW! An excruciating pain has just passed through my thorax and...

There it is again...

The voices!

"_CLEAR!"  
"Amy! Please don't give up now!"  
"You've got to make it!"  
"CLEAR!!!"_

That must mean...

Amy Rose x


	27. Entry 27

**Firstly I'd like to apologise for the wait =D **  
**You know how technology can be =P My computer's been playing up like crazy.**

**Anyway I hope you like this chapter and please R&R**

**Random facts  
Each year, 30,000 people are seriously injured by exercise equipment.  
Wine will spoil if exposed to light; hence tinted bottles**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I'm shocked, literally. For the past few minutes of my life I've been zapped repeatedly. The doctors are still trying to keep me alive and I'm fighting with everything I've got to help them. They cannot use a high voltage due to the baby growing inside me but they are trying their hardest to keep us both alive.

I can hear the desperate cries of my friends and 'family' and for that reason I will continue to fight until I am once again in the land of living.

"_Amy, hang in there!"  
"Don't give up on us now Rose!"  
"...Amy, I love you. I love you, I love you!" He repeated these words over and over. This was all Sonic had to say, possibly all he could say.  
"Will she make it, Rouge?" Cream asked tearfully.  
_

During the last few seconds so much had happened, my friends had managed to make their way into the hospital room and the doctors had shocked me for the last time.

"_I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do for her now. The shocks aren't working. I'm sorry..." He nodded his head in respect and then left the room, probably to fill out some paper work._

_Silence...  
More silence...  
Even more silence..._

NO! I'm not dead! Don't give up on me now, I'm still here and I've still got the 'fight' in me. I'm still ALIVE!

The silence began to ring through my ears until it was replaced with the screams and cries of my friends.

"_NO!"  
"AMY!"  
"She can't be dead."  
"Rose..."  
_

But the most horrifying and blood curling words came from the mouth of my grieving husband...

"_... Until death do us apart!"_

NO! My silent scream was swimming through my ears and his words ran through my heart, my broken heart. I guess you could say I got what I wished for but I didn't really want for us to be apart, those words were originated from spite. Despite the growing hole in my heart I still need to fight. To prove them all wrong, to prove to them I'm still alive.

_Beeeep!_

I know I'm not dead but the endless beeping confirms that I am.

_Beeeep! Beep, beep, beep. Beep, beep._

The monitor stops the never ending ringing in the atmosphere as it begins to beep slowly, but at least it's beeping.

Right now, this very second, if I was asked my emotions I wouldn't know where to begin.

Scared? Relief? Happiness? I don't know all I know is I'm definitely shocked, I didn't think would have the strength to come alive again.

Only one of my friends has so far noticed the change in my living status.

"_...Sonic, I don't think it's time for you to say good bye just so fast..." Shadow said, noticing the patronising machine. The very machine to determine if someone is well, or not, the same machine that portrayed my death._

_Some could call what happened next a sign of grief. Even though my eyes could not see yet, I saw what happened through great concentration on my behalf. The scene played in my mind showing me the extent of my husband's grief and pain._

_His short sobs were stopped even shorter as he became overwhelmed by emotion. His saddened expression changed to that of an angry bull ready to charge. And his face turned to the side, half of it hidden in the shade. His eyes burned through Shadow almost like a laser. Then he lost it, just like that he lost it. _

_The two hedgehogs were up against each other, Sonic towering over his counterpart. His eyes losing the greenness and becoming almost white, no pupil or iris visible. His cobalt blue fur turning darker, almost navy. Truth be told I was scared; I wasn't even under the wrath of his angered state._

_Shadow looked at Sonic with confused crimson eyes; he didn't understand the state my husband was in. I didn't really understand it either; I'd only ever seen my significant other like this once and that was towards Eggman when he used me as a threat. _

_Either way, Sonic knew what was happening and didn't like it. He calmed down, let go of Shadow's chest hair and he fell numb to the ground._

"_She's dead Shadow, she's dead. She's not coming back, ever. Surely you of all people would not joke to me about this, not after Maria."_

_I could almost read Shadow's mind due to the close connection we shared, 'How dare he, as if he thought I could joke about her being alive. As if he thought I would play such a cruel joke on not only him but everyone."_

_Shadow didn't actually express these thoughts though as he knew what Sonic was feeling, after the loss of Maria Shadow suffered greatly._

_Everyone else in the group just stood there looking at me and the monitor. _

_It was silent until Tails spoke up, "Sonic, you might want to see this..."_

Everything came back to me, overpowering me with long lost feeling. I felt my limbs and my toes and my fingertips. I heard everything so much clearly and I could feel the cotton sheets beneath my aching body. I could feel my friends staring down at me, almost burning into my skin.

Sonic however didn't stare; he did however get up and walk towards the door, his footsteps echoing around the hospital room.

I tried to move but the pain was too much, so instead I opened my eyes. The bright light nearly blinded me however I was determined to see him, to embrace him in my arms and never let go. He was almost at the door, it was now or never.

"S...s...s..S-sonic." I managed to whisper out.

He froze in his stride, not moving. His ears became alert but soon they dropped down again. He thought he was going crazy, hearing voices.

I needed to prove him otherwise. Mustering all the strength I could, I stood up and stumbled past my statues also known as friends.

I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around to face me...

Amy Rose x


	28. Entry 28

**Sorry for the wait, here's the next entry =D**  
**Thank you to my reveiwers and readers =P**  
**Please R&R, thank you  
Sorry for the shortness =3**

**Random Facts**  
**If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4,950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.**  
**Over 98 percent of Japanese people are cremated after they die.**  
**You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than a poisonous spider!**

* * *

Dear Diary,

I needed to prove him otherwise. Mustering all the strength I could, I stood up and stumbled past my statues also known as friends.

I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around to face me...

At first he didn't do anything but stare straight past me before hopelessly mumbling, "Leave me alone!"

I don't think it had registered in his mind that I was standing here in front of him. I know if I was in his situation I probably wouldn't have even turned around.

His mind was obviously in another universe as was his thoughts. His green eyes had lost their sparkle and he looked completely drained, both physically and mentally. This worried me, in all the years I've known him not once has he ever been as physically drained as this. He hadn't even gone running today!

Those words still played over in my mind like I should be satisfied, that I got what I wanted.

"_... Until death do us apart!"_

"_... Until death do us apart!"_

"_... Until death do us apart!"_

UNTIL DEATH DO US APART! If I hear that phrase once more I won't be responsible for my actions...

Also the very same words from our argument that caused all of this pain...

"_Amy! For god sake, I'm your husband and yet I'm treated like dirt, like you couldn't care less. I'm sick of it! What we have, I wouldn't call it marriage Amy. But yet I still love you. When we got married I took my vows, I said I would love you for better or worse, until death do us part..."_

My cold bitter reply.

"_Who said it had to be our death? Maybe our marriage was over when Eternity died..." _

Maybe I deserve all of this. Maybe karma caught up with my actions, the lies and cheats. Maybe if I'd just told him about the baby from the start, then I wouldn't have gone to Shadow for comfort. I wouldn't have nearly kissed Shadow for comfort. Maybe if he knew about the baby he could understand my violent mood swings, but maybe if he knew I wouldn't have had those mood swings.

Either way, I can't go back and rearrange the past. Sonic knows about the baby but yet no-one knows his true emotions and feelings towards the living thing. He's put a mask over the fathering side to him, concentrating on only my health... Or in his mind lack of health.

Still staring past me into nothing.

I whispered his name trying to bring him down to earth. Truth is I'm scared. I don't even know if he's still in love with me, he couldn't have just moved on that fast, could he? Surely there's got to be something still there. I can only hope.

His blank eyes flicker at his name but apart from that there is no change to his frozen state.

Time to try something else, my last resort...

I grab him by the shoulders and lean into him. Pressing my cold lips against his warm lips. If the machine hadn't confirmed that I was still alive, this would have reassured me fully. Feeling the warm flow around me, my world spinning as my eyes closed gently.

He didn't return the kiss for the first few seconds but slowly I felt his strong arms wrap around my fragile body. His lips fighting for dominance that I easily gave, he wanted to feel in control again.

Seconds that seemed like hours passed and so did our kiss as we both parted; looking into his eyes I saw the same shine reflected upon him. His depression had lifted and was replaced by shock and surprise.

For a while there I didn't know what to say, so I spoke from the heart.

"...I'm sorry. For everything. Please forgive me?"

I looked hopefully into his eyes, showing him only remorse and love.

He needed to forgive me; I needed him to forgive me. Is that selfish? Am I acting on my own selfish impulse?

I didn't know if he was going to forgive me or not, his eyes glazed over again. Leaving me feeling cold as a draft blew past my shoulder.

His expression changed rapidly; only by close inspection could I pick out the true meanings in them all. At first he was happy, I was alive. But then he became sad, I'd lied. Anger, our arguments. And finally the last one stuck. He was angry about all the lies and tales and arguments. Angry that he had shed tears over my 'death'.

Finally he broke the intense silence with a cold hearted laugh, a sadistic laugh.

"Forgive you? I can't even stand to be in the same room as you right now... And as for 'you're sorry'? Ha another lie to add to your list." His poisonous words hit me like that car did, flashing everything before my eyes and covering me in a bright light. I closed my eyes, blinking back the tears. But when I reopened them he was gone. Can't say I blame him really. What hurt the most was he was right...

And I was wrong, Sonic the Hedgehog had moved on...

Amy Rose x


	29. Entry 29

**Entry 29! Okay, I really didn't expect that I'd have this many chapters, but I can feel it coming to an end =( Thank you for reviewing**  
**So anyway please R&R =D Enjoy**

**Random facts**  
**About twenty-five percent of the population sneeze when they are exposed to light.**  
**Even a small amount of alcohol placed on a scorpion will make it go crazy and sting itself to death.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

And I was wrong, Sonic the Hedgehog had moved on...

I just stand there, stand there looking at the same spot he once stood. Everything in my life has just turned me down and walked away leaving me with nothing, nothing but pain and loneliness, anger and hurt. Still my gaze is looking there at that spot, hoping he'll return and scoop me up in his arms. Hoping that he'll cherish me and never let me go, tell me that he loves me and I'm forgiven.

But it's not going to make him come back; he's stormed out of here as quickly as possible and for him that's fast! If I was in his position I don't think I could have stayed either.

Hoping he'll return isn't going to make it occur. Wishing this hadn't happened isn't going to turn back the hands of time. And that's that.

I'm pulled out of my trance as strong muscular arms wrap around me and pull me towards their chest. I'm powerless towards my tears so I let them flow down freely and not for the first time. The gloved hand of my comforter wipes away the droplets emitting from my saddened eyes. Once the tears had been cleared I looked up into crimson eyes.

Shadow, one of the few people that would lay down their life for me no matter what. My dear friend that would never leave me and would always trust me. He's been there for me in my times of need such as Eternity. Shadows, one of my best friends possibly even my closest... Thinking back, maybe he's always been too close. I nearly kissed him... That's how close we can be.

With that image plastered in my memories I push away from him and curl into a tight ball, only whimpering.

I know Shadow wouldn't do anything to hurt me, or Sonic for that matter. But I can't believe that I almost cheated on my husband, if I can even call him that. It takes two to tango and for that I don't blame Shadow. Instead I crawl up to him and wrap his arms around me, wanting desperately to feel warmth and also love. He accepts this.

Rouge is next on the scene, "He doesn't mean that Amy, he'll come back. If he doesn't he's just lost about a week of his time worrying about you, praying that you'll make it and losing a lot of sleep. He's just worked up, that's all."

I know she means well but it's hard to believe. Hard to believe he could just come back to me after all the drama I've caused. It's easy for Rouge to say everything will be okay. No disrespect to her but with her and Knuckles it's kind of clear who wears the trousers, Knuckles is so laid back that he could easily go with the flow in almost every situation.

But with me and Sonic... It's not the same. If he doesn't like something he'll generally say so. If I don't like something I'll say something, majority of the time. Or we'll both just bottle it up for ages and then finally explode.

That is what's happened now, we've erupted. BOOM!

I've got no one else to blame though, it's my own entire fault.

But I've decided he needs to know, everything. Whether or not he'll listen to me, he needs to know. I can't lie to him anymore. He may hate me for it but it's the right thing to do, for both of us. If our marriage means anything to him though he'll hear me out, won't he? I can only wish that he will.

Maybe it's like that saying, positive things will come to positive people. I just need to be optimistic...

If only it was that simple.

My friends are still trying to comfort me, trying to make me smile. Telling me everything will be okay, Sonic will come around.

"If he doesn't come back... Well there's always Shadow." Knuckles joked, "I don't think Sonic will want to lose you to him, eh?"

Despite this being a joke I felt a huge amount of guilt tear my insides apart. I looked at Shadow taking in his expression, hidden happiness. This only made me angry, made my blood boil.

The lethal words escaped my lips, "I'm not even divorced and the snakes have slivered in. That didn't take long, did it? Urgh, you make me sick! If you honestly think I'd choose Shadow when I've had, got, Sonic then you should be the one in here." I said referring to the hospital.

"I'm not going to have a second place trophy when I deserve first. You really are a Knucklehead, aren't you? I still haven't figured out what Rouge sees in you, I guess you're her rebound, second place trophy..."

I stopped in mid sentence. My head lowered as I looked down at the floor. Those words were so cold and cruel. I didn't mean them at all, but how could I convince them otherwise? I said all those words and they hadn't yelled at me, scolded me or even comforted me.

Looking up through my eyelashes into Knuckles hurt eyes I frowned in anger at myself.

"...I'm sorry, that was out of order. I didn't mean any of it. Knuckles you're a great guy, of course I understand what Rouge sees in you. You're definitely not her second place price. It was only a joke, I understand that and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Shadow..." I once again looked up into the eyes of my friend, the distressed eyes of my friend.

"Shadow, please forgive me. I've lost so much already I can't lose you. You're not my consolation award, no matter what I've just said. I think you're great but..."

"But I'm not Sonic. It's okay; I know where you heart lies. I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you, for everything." I walked up to him, dragging him towards my body in a comforting hug. He returned it, but I noticed he went stiff and tense.

His arms dropped by his side and he pushed me gently away. I was puzzled but not hurt. Then I realised everyone was looking towards the door way, so I to turned to face the 'show'.

...There he stood in the door way.

Sonic! My husband! My first place treasure!

Amy Rose x


	30. Entry 30

**Entry 30! =D **  
**This chapter was sad to write =( But I like it, hope you do too. =P**  
**Please R&R and enjoy =3**

**Random facts**  
**Anteaters prefer termites to ants.**  
**Kittens are born both blind and deaf.**  
**It takes six months to build a Rolls Royce...and 13 hours to build a Toyota.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

He came back.

...There he stood in the door way.

He came back, my friends were right. How much longer he'll stay is unknown though. His body's slightly rigid and I can sense he doesn't really want to be here. His irises are still as dull as when I last saw them, holding no sparkle and containing only hurt.

Much like his monotone voice, "I need to know everything!"

It's not a statement but more of a command, one I must follow. I should tell him everything but I don't know if I can, if I can stand here looking him in the eyes and tell him about the near abortion or the close call of a kiss.

Breaking down, for the millionth time, I collapse onto my knees. My pregnant weight too much to bear in my current state of depression. No one rushes forward to help me up, no one even moves at all. All of their eyes are focused on me though, waiting to see my reaction.

I try to look at the floor to hide my beetroot cheeks and crystal tears, but I can't look further than my baby bump. The very thing I've got to confess to.

Sonic's patience is clearly flying out the window, the opened window I've only just become aware of. The spine chilling draft making both my hair and heart flutter flies on past me towards my partner. His feet are taping impatiently, indicating he wants an answer and quick.

But what do I tell him, everything? Or just about the baby? What does he want to know?

The former question was just answered when he coldly asked, "Is it... mine?" Pausing on mine, it lets me know there is still something there.

I can feel my blood beginning to boil, but it freezes quickly. I know that he has a right to ask it, especially after the incident with Shadow (even if he doesn't know about that) and after me hiding it, well it's enough to make him ponder. But the fact that he can even ask if I've cheated on him...  
It hurts and that's an understatement. I love him. Also I never actually kissed Shadow; I had self-control even in my lowest state, which must mean something.

He wants an answer and the longer I stay in silence, the more suspicious he'll get. He'll assume the wrong answer and all my chances will be gone. I try to speak but my mouth is dry and dehydrated, no words are forming. So instead I nod-answering his question- letting him know the baby's his.

Unfortunately I unconsciously took a glimpse in Shadow's direction; it didn't go unnoticed by Sonic's watchful eyes though. His venomous gaze viciously turns to look at Shadow, giving him a quizzical glance before it turns into a sour keep-your-hands-off-my girl look. Only I could have seen the hurt in him, in his mind picturing life without me, a life in which he lost me to Shadow.

I was suddenly aware of all my other friends as I heard Rouge whisper to Knuckles, "We should let them talk." She then added, "Alone."

Knuckles looked at her as if she had just grown three heads, "What? I want to hear the gossip too."

She looked at him in disbelief, shocked to find he was serious. Shocked to realise just how dense he could be when it came to reading people.

They were about to leave but froze solid when the room was filled with Sonic's voice, ending the torturing silence.

"How far along are you?"

A number of things happened once I told him the answer, when I 'told' the room; Sonic's posture tensed then weakened before returning to tense. Shadow could be heard muttering a curse, sad that I hadn't told him. Knuckles looked at my stomach with bulging eyes, my bump clearly showing underneath the hospital robes. Tails muttered, "Six months, she's been hiding this for half a year?" Then he looked towards his best friend searching for a sign of emotion. Nothing.

I had a feeling that this 'quiz' wasn't going to end though, not until he got the answers he needed.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you keep this a secret, don't I deserve to know if my wife's pregnant? Or do I mean that little to you?" I felt a fierce breeze settling in my skin so I looked over towards the open window. But something was wrong, the window was shut. I know my friends hadn't closed it, but I was confused as to where the sharp chill came from earlier.

Then it dawned on me, the coldness was coming from my husband...

I couldn't answer the questions, I wanted to but I didn't know the answers. He infuriated him further.

"TELL ME! I NEED TO KNOW! I'M THE ONE WHO'S IN THE DARK HERE! YOU KNEW ALL ALONG!" He shouted at me in such anger I almost thought his dark form would have been released.

I broke down in hysterics. Truth was I wanted to answer his questions but I couldn't I just couldn't.

He calmed down slightly and tried to say something but to his dismay his voice broke.

"Do... Do you... Do you still love me?"

I looked at his for the first time since his return. My tear stained face raised up to see my love. Of course I still love him! How could he ask that? I'm so sad right now; I can't even imagine how he feels. Thinking I betrayed him, lied about our baby and all the arguments, no wonder he's upset. But I brought this all upon myself.

I can't lie anymore. I can't keep it from him anymore. I just can't keep him in the dark, not after experiencing it myself.

Well Sonic the Hedgehog, I hope you are ready for this. I hope you are ready for the truth...

Amy Rose x


	31. Entry 31

**Please R&R and enjoy =D **  
**Entry 31!**

**Random facts**  
**Approx. 2,500 newborn babies will be dropped in the next month.**  
**Spiders have transparent blood.**  
**Phobatrivaphobia is fear of trivia about phobias.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Well Sonic the Hedgehog, I hope you are ready for this. I hope you are ready for the truth...

I'm so nervous, my body is tense and I'm almost shaking. I really hope he won't hate me. But he needs to know everything.

He can't even look at me, dreading my answer.

"Do you... Do you still love me? I need to know."He repeated his question again, giving me the opportunity to tell him I do. I do love him, of course I do. To quote him- I married him for better or worse, until death do us apart.

He turned his body around facing the door, about to run, when I noticed a single tear hit the floor. This was hurting him more than it was me. I went to open my mouth about to reveal all. However he interrupted me, "Fine, I know where I stand..."

"NO!" I screamed at him, aiming to stop him from dashing out of here into the horizon. He spun around as I began to struggle with my breathing. My throat was closing up around my words but I continued nonetheless.

"I'm... I'm six, six months pregnant. I've known for... I've known for three months." I began with a stutter, using only the basic facts. This was going to be harder than I thought. Every pair of eyes in the room are focused on me, I can sense it without looking. My eyes are still looking down at the floor, well attempting to.

"I found out three months ago, when I was at that 'sleepover' with Rouge and Cream. Well it wasn't a sleepover, truth was I took the test there... and I, well I freaked out. I couldn't go home. I couldn't tell you, I was in shock. So I spent the night there and told you it was a sleepover." Part one of the story revealed. And I don't feel any better, not now seeing his face drop as he knows this.

"Then the next day I went and... I went and stayed..." I paused to slyly look at Shadow through my bangs, not letting anyone else notice this. Should I tell him? What if he goes crazy and attacks Shadow? I saw the look he gave him earlier, the one that read stay-away-from-her. He needs the truth, the full truth and nothing but the truth. I stood up, preparing to stop a brutal fight.

"I stayed over at...At S-s-Shadow's." With a flash of his eyes, I sensed the fury burning through him about to eat him alive. The way he looked at Shadow scared me, but what scared me more was the way he leapt towards my friend.

The two fell to the ground with a loud thump that echoed through the clean, white room. One punch, two punches, three punches. I can't stand here and listen to my friend being bruised and beaten.

I ran up to the angry Sonic, not a good idea. As I tried to pull Sonic off Shadow's injured body, he accidentally swung backwards. His elbow hit the top of my stomach barely missing our child. As a result I tumbled backwards about to hit the floor, fortunately Rouge managed to catch me but not before a scream escaped both mine and Cream's mouths.

Sonic stopped hitting his 'friend' and turned to look at the unfolding scene. He rose up and untangled his limbs from Shadow's and sank away to the farthest corner. He was ashamed of himself.

"Amy, are you okay? The baby?" My friends frantically asked me, but I could barely hear them. My eyes are focused on Sonic.

"I'm fine."

I don't think they believe me that much but they know not to push it.

"Now I'm scared to tell you anymore..." I shuddered. I still need to tell him about the abortion and the kiss.

"But you want the truth, don't you? Well, I was confused and upset. I was also scared. Shadow made all of this go away and... We nearly..._I _nearly" I quickly changed we to I so Shadow wouldn't suffer for my mistakes, "I nearly kissed him. But I didn't, nothing happened. I promise you nothing happened." The last words came out rushed and panicked. He needed to believe me that nothing happened.

He remained silent.

"I came back home and I couldn't tell you..."

"You keep saying that but what do you mean?" He interrupted me.

What did I mean? How many times have I explained this to myself, to Rouge, to Cream? Too many.

"Eternity." That's all I can say. But he wants more...

"I was, I am, scared that it'll happen again. Scared I'll have to go through all the pain again. I was and still am scared about you. How you'll react, if you want it or not? I wasn't sure myself if I wanted it, so what if you did want it and I didn't? I was terrified it would destroy our relationship, even though hiding it did that anyway. You have to understand I didn't know what to do? I nearly went to get an abortion ..."

Tears are forming in my eyes as I tell him this. He's just stood there, shocked.

"Abortion?" He managed to gulp out.

"Yes. But I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't kill it. But I couldn't tell you either and that is why I was so argumentative. Please forgive me Sonic! Please, I can't live without you..."

My thoughts became flooded with my visit from my mother, and how I choose life, how I choose him. I couldn't live without him!

"...You... You don't have to."

Amy Rose x


	32. Entry 32

**Entry 32! **  
**Sorry for the wait and shortness of this chapter! Got a few things on my mind- like my cat. He's got a broken jaw and has to have surgery =(**  
**So yeah, I'm worried and preoccupied slightly but my readers are waiting =P**  
**Anyway I hope you like this chapter anyway, please R&R =3**

**Random facts**  
**In just about every species of mammal, the female lives longer than the male.**  
**Left-handed people are better at sports that require good spatial judgment and fast reaction, compared to right-handed individuals.**  
**The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Did I just hear right? Am I dreaming or did those words really leave his mouth?

"...You... You don't have to."

He really said that, didn't he? I don't know what to say, or what to do.

He's just told me I don't have to live without him. I can't even explain how ecstatic I am right now. No words can describe my joy.

Even though I've never told anyone, I'd be heartbroken inside if Sonic left me. I wouldn't know what to do, just aimlessly living my life. If I didn't... well, you know. My world would just collapse and I'd be sucked under the dark layer of depression, never to resurface.

I'm just so happy that he's willing to put this all in the past; I haven't yet said anything in return. If my beaming smile isn't enough to show my happiness then I'll never know what is. But still...

I look into his eyes to be sure for certain that he's telling the truth. They contain no lies, just pure honesty.

I gather up some strength and rush into his arms, gently sobbing.

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do, Amy I love you."

More tears.

"I love you too and I'm sorry I lied to you..."

"You don't need to explain, I understand now just how much this is upsetting you. I mean, you nearly kissed Shadow...You must be pretty sad to do that..." He flashed me a quick grin, but it soon faded into a smaller, more modest one. I don't know if he was trying to make a joke and lighten the tense mood in the room. Or if he was trying to get at Shadow, getting his revenge for the incident.

In his mind it's all Shadow's fault that we nearly locked lips and it's all Shadow's fault that I stayed there. Whatever Sonic was trying to accomplice, the room's tense energy was lifted slightly and Shadow's aura glowed slightly darker in shade.

I however just laughed it off, will giving my angered friend a reassuring smile.

"Ha, yeah sad. But Sonic I shouldn't have lied to you about the baby..."

"You didn't lie to me. You just didn't tell me about it. And I can't say I'm happy about it but the past is the past. And clearly the past is still upsetting you. Why didn't you tell me about this, being so upset over Eternity?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know."

"Um, sorry to interrupt but I'm going to go tell the doctors you're alive..." Cream innocently stated, still as polite as ever.

Sonic stopped her, "I'll go Cream."

I think he wants some fresh air, to gather all his thoughts together...

Or he could have just wanted to bump into Shadow on his way past and mumble in his ear, "Never again." This is what he did.

I personally think it was just an empty threat, but maybe I'm just hoping that it's meaningless. I don't want the two former rivals to fall out all over again and continue their feud. I don't want my husband and best male friend to fight.

The room was silent for a few moments as everyone had heard Sonic's 'whispered' threat. But Knuckles broke the silence by addressing the room.

"So... Do we have to have a welcome-back-to-life party?"

We all took one look at him before we burst into laughter. He just stood there, puzzled and slightly annoyed.

"I'm serious."

Our laughter became more vigorous and we began to find it hard to breath.

"No we don't. But we do need to have a baby shower soon..." Cream mentioned.

This made our conversation swing from me being alive to the baby I'm carrying. Rouge's shining eyes seemed to glow even more and her pupils increased in size.

"Oh, I can't wait. There will be...Hmmm," She thought. "There will be balloons and cake and... presents and... It can be next week; you'll be what, 7 months gone by then won't you? That's not too early, is it?" She waffled on, not realising everyone's thought had drifted off.

My head was pounding as my thoughts travelled through my mind.

Eternity.  
Baby.  
Sonic.  
Shadow.  
Baby shower.

These are only some of them.

Before I could gather any more, Sonic returned with a stunned doctor.

"You say she's alive? How is that even possible? Let me see for myself..."

He looked at me with the drip still hanging in my arm and the bruises on my body, just like when he'd seen me last. Except from the one difference, I was stood up, alive.

"My god, it's a miracle! Mrs Rose the Hedgehog, how are you feeling?" He can't believe I'm here; this is obvious as he takes my temperature and my pulse.

"Urm... would better be an understatement?" I said.

A few minutes and signatures later, I was ready for my release.

"Well, you're free to go. Take care Mrs. Rose." The doctor said while I was being carried down the hallway in my spouse's arms.

I tilted my head up to look at him. His eyes focused on our direction and mine focused on him.

This thought ran through my head...

How lucky am I to have you?

Amy Rose x


	33. Entry 33

**Entry 33! Amy's alive! Was that what you all suspected? =D **  
**Will this chapter be what you expect? And will the suspence ever stop? =D**  
**Will Amy ever make up her mind?**  
**And most importantly, will I stop asking questions and let you read the story? Of course I will =D **  
**Please R&R and enjoy!**

**Random facts  
Estimated cost for having your whole body tattooed: $30,000 - $50,000. (slightly less in pounds, about £20,000- £40,000)  
More than half the population of Kenya is under the age of 15.  
An albatross can sleep while it flies! (for all you Storm the Albotross fans =D)**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Today has been slightly awkward but inspiring, to say the least. It's not even over yet!

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital, alive. As promised Rouge is throwing me a baby shower later on today, that is what caused the awkward discussion.

I wasn't, and still aren't, fully sure if I want this baby. I mean... I couldn't go through with an abortion, no matter how desperate I got. I know that much. But what else is there to do?

This is what we spent the last hour or so doing, talking about the baby.

It started off a simple day, well about as simple as it can get considering I'm carrying a 7 month baby. I got up and Sonic had prepared some breakfast. He's improved vastly in his cooking since he met me, thank goodness.

Sonic... what can I say about him? He's been great since the incident at the hospital. I couldn't even begin to understand why I hide it from him for so long, until we went to the grave.

Eternity's grave is checked every so often by someone in the group, usually with their partner. But the responsibility mainly lies on us, her parents. It feels weird calling her my daughter considering I never really had the chance to hold her properly or have any bonding time. But she's still my daughter, even though she looks a lot like her father!

I never told Sonic about the encounter, with my Mum and Eternity. I feel it's something I need to keep to myself, at least for now. Until then I'll share it only with myself, until I'm prepared to tell him, which I will do one day. I've learnt my lesson and both of us have promised not to have any secrets from each other. That's the reason I know about the baby shower.

It was meant to be a surprise! Sonic was meant to take me out shopping and then for lunch and when we returned the living room would be in total darkness, then...

"SURPRISE!" They would all reveal their hiding place, scaring the life out of me in the process.

But that's not going to happen now; I'm going to be prepared.

As I was clearing up the wilted flowers, Sonic was helping; he looked at me and said, "I know we aren't meant to have secrets so I think I have to tell you this... Rouge is planning a baby shower for you today."

At first I laughed at his cuteness, thinking he had to tell me that.

"Sonic honey, there's a difference from secrets and surprises. Stuff like that's okay to keep a 'secret'. Ha..." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I know that but after how you've been feeling about the baby, well I just thought you should know. Urm and you're probably going to kill me for asking this, considering you had one last time-didn't you? - But anyway, what's a baby shower..." He asked me sheepishly.

Once again I laughed, "A baby shower is where you congratulate the parents, mainly the mother and give presents for the baby. Last time I had one but it was just for us girls. I don't know what Rouge's got planned though..."

Then it hit me. If I was going to have a baby shower and get gifts for the baby, well a baby was going to have to be involved and I wasn't sure if I wanted to have another child. If I can have another child.

Sonic noticed the change in atmosphere as he hugged me, "Everything will be okay." He said.

"How can you say that? I mean... I'm not sure if I can go through the birth and then look after the baby. I'm scared that it'll happen again and I'm scared of post-traumatic depression. I've tried an abortion and that wasn't the answer. I just don't know what to do... And if, _if_, the baby survives by any chance, will I still want it? What if I don't, what if I hate the baby? What if I can't give it everything it needs and wants... I've never done this before."

And surprisingly I didn't cry, at first. There was a lack of tears waiting to be unconfined and as soon as he hugged me, they let loose.

"I wish I knew what to say, I wish I had the magic words but I don't... I can't promise you that the baby will survive. Just like I can't promise you that you'll want it if it does. But either way I will support you!"

He may not of thought those were the right words but to me they were perfect. They held everything I wanted to hear and so much more. To answer my own question-how lucky am I to have him? - Well the answer is a definite 'very'.

He then continued to talk about other options such as adoption.

I've not given adoption a second thought until now. I've never had a straight opinion about adoption but now it may be a possibility.

I don't know though as adoption to me is both cruel and kind at the same time. It's cruel because I think it's horrible for the child to grow up knowing that their parents gave them away, that they weren't wanted. But it's also kind because they at least get to grow up, make something of their lives. Abortion doesn't have these problems though, but it can be argued that they do. I think they do.

Abortion; the child dies, never grows up and it never had the opportunity to show its meaning. But they don't really have to go through the pain of not being wanted, some say this anyway. I don't agree, I think the embryo knows!

Whatever way you think about it, either way, all the cards have been dealt and now it's time to play.

For now though I must get dressed, it's time to go shopping.

Amy Rose x


	34. Entry 34

**AW dear love Sonic ^U^ This is affecting him too =D**

**Entry 34! Hope you enjoy it and please review =D **

**Random facts**  
**Most tropical marine fish could survive in a tank filled with human blood.**  
**The leading cause of poisoning for children under the age of six in the home is liquid dish soap.**  
**Only two in one thousand diamonds are considered truly colorless.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Lunch was amazing. Sonic took me to this little restaurant on the outskirts of town, surprisingly he was still able to lift me and run at a high speed even though I'm quite heavily pregnant. The service was so quick and the waiter was absolutely polite. Our table was by the window and was decorated by a white table cloth and a single rose, how cute?

And don't get me started on the food... It was so beautiful and all I can say is poor Sonic, I practically ate my dinner, his dinner and went back for seconds. It was a self service type buffet and all the colours of fruit and vegetables, the sweet aroma of bread and desserts and the fantastic selection of cheeses, I was in heaven.

It's a good thing we went to a buffet though, I mean with the cravings I've been getting... Let's just say that I'm hopefully never going to have another chilli-dog-with-cheese-and-pickles-and-ketchup craving ever again. Because Sonic forbids me to ever ruin his favourite dish again. And the worst thing is I know he's serious. I do feel sorry for him though because I've just eaten half of his dinner that he really did earn...

Before we came to this tiny restaurant, I had Sonic carrying all my bags and constantly bombarding him with, 'Does my bum look big in this?' and 'Does it bring out my eyes?' questions. He's been so kind and caring. It doesn't take a genius to realise that he doesn't really like shopping all that much. I do try; I do try to go on my own or with Rouge and Cream, only bringing him if it's really important. But today he offered and well, who am I to refuse?

It was funny though because we were walking past this cute little store and it caught our attention. It was only a dainty little shop but it was so appealing. Anyway it caught our attention and we went to check it out. Upon looking in the window I felt a weird sensation in my abdomen. It took me a while to realise that the small baby inside of me was kicking.

I gasped, attracting Sonic's attention. He seemed worried but as soon as I took his wrist, placed his hand on my stomach and he felt the tiny kicks of our baby he relaxed. The movement was calming for the both of us, as we continued to look in the store window at the miniature furniture. The cots and the prams and the cradles, the blankets and teddies and toys. Everything was so adorable, everything parents would want for their child.

And I knew at that moment what I wanted. What I needed. What I already have...

I wanted my, our, baby!

Sonic said he's support me no matter what, I hope he's prepared for this.

But right now we are about to walk into the 'surprise' baby shower.

I feel the baby kick again as Sonic's about to open the door, it must be able to sense its very own party.

The door swings open and everything is dark... Wait, no it's not.

"I thought you were going to be ready." Sonic laughed, teasing his decorated friends.

Tails and Cream were both hovering in mid air trying to fix a falling home-made banner to the wall. Rouge was setting up the music and Knuckles was blowing up a balloon... POP! Was being the key word. Leaving Shadow sat in a pile of wrapping paper, ribbons covering him.

"Hey Shadow, looking _hot._ That look suits you..." Sonic began but never finished as he doubled over in laugher.

"Shut up 'faker', or I'll give you a makeover. I wonder how you'd look in black and blue..." Shadow retaliated, only joking.

"Shadow, you moron, I am blue. And if I was black and blue then I'd look like a much cuter, sexier version of... you!" Sonic joked.

The two chuckled at this 'fight'.

Thankfully everything in the past was just that, in the past and they are now friends again. Well as good as it gets.

"Urm, Surprise!" Knuckles exclaimed.

"What's the surprise? That you're not done yet?" I joked.

After a few minutes the final adjustments had been completed and everyone was giving out the presents.

"Open ours first, please..." Cream began to beg.

I took the wrapped box from her. I then offered it to Sonic but he shook his head, insisting that I opened it.

"Oh." I gasped. Everyone's eyes looked at me as I rubbed my tummy.

"It's kicking again." I told them all, but mainly addressing Sonic. They all began to feel the little feet kicking me.

They all awed and oohed as it kicked at them.

But it only lasted for a while before I began to open up Cream's gift.

Slowly I took off the sparkly ribbon and then the yellow paper and it was a contraption of some sort.

...

Everyone was silent. None of us knew what it was, except from its creator and his girlfriend.

"Thanks Tails. It's very thoughtful..."

"I thought you'd say that! But you don't know what it does yet..." He pulled out a remote from his pocket and pressed a button on it.

The present then began to jolt and finally it expanded into a designer cot. He pressed a different button and once again it transformed. First a cot, then a pram, then a walker, then a highchair. All the furniture we needed was right here in front of us. I was so shocked at Tails' contraption I didn't know what to say so instead I settled for a hug and a thank you.

Rouge and Knuckles' present came next, wrapped neatly in green tissue paper... A few fashionable outfits, for both genders, obviously picked out by Rouge and a collection of supplies such as nappies and bibs, bottles and pacifiers.

"Thank you." I said embracing them both.

Finally, Shadow's present. He gave it to me and I lightly shake it. Not too heavy, quite light. Hmmm.

I began to think of all the possible things it could be but before I reached to open it I felt a sharp pain run through me. This was not the warm fuzzy sensation I got when it kicked me. This was not the nauseous feeling I got while experiencing morning sickness.

Oh no this was a pain that caused me to panic!

Amy Rose x


	35. Entry 35

**Entry 35! PAIN! Oh what's going on? LOL! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it ^U^**  
**I'd like to thank all of you that have reviewed and added this to your alerts and faves etc, so thanks!**  
**Please R&R =3**

**Random Facts**  
**The average female will have 3.3 pregnancies in her life.**  
**Smokers eat more sugar than non-smokers do.**  
**The word Eskimo literally means 'raw meat eater'.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Oh no this is a pain that is causing me to panic!

Oh my god! The pain is intense and I can feel its power surge through me fiercely! I don't know what to do, everything is blurry and I can't help but panic.

I wince in pain as it occurs again, the pain shooting through my lower abdomen. I do nothing but double over. Even though I've been through this before, I'm traumatised.

Everyone's eyes are glued to me but I don't care. I just want it to stop but this is the real deal. I wince again as I feel the pain striking again. It's like a thousand pin pricks all at once, but it also feels like I'm burning from the inside out.

Then everything froze as I felt my maternity trousers dampen, dripping on the floor.

"Oh crap!" Sonic says before he guides me over to the sofa and sits me down.

"Rouge! This isn't meant to be happening yet... What should I do?" His voice rises as he fusses over me.

This isn't meant to be happening yet... This isn't meant to be happening yet... The words rush through my head as I realise just how far along I am. I've just turned seven months! The baby's not meant to come for another two!

"NO!" I scream out.

This can't be happening, not again. If I give birth now... Who knows what will happen?

"Cream! Call an ambulance, tell them to hurry..." Rouge commands the distressed bunny.

"No I'll take her, I'll be faster!" Sonic interrupts

But I can't last that long. My contractions are coming short and fast.

"There's no time... I'm giving birth now!" I scream at them all!

Everything becomes a blur as I feel Shadow grabs hold of me and Sonic. A flash of green is coming from his other hand and before I know I'm being sucked into a portal. The colour around me spin and my head begins to pound. Words are running through my ears and into my brain.

Not meant to be happening yet.  
Chaos Control!  
Not meant to be happening yet.  
Eternity.

I can hear the cries of my friends, Rouge and Cream. I can hear the grunts from Knuckles and Tails. But I must be imagining it right...

The spinning abruptly stops as I'm caught in Shadow's arms. He hands me over to Sonic who rushes over to the front desk, calling for attention.

I also hear other thuds as I try to tilt my head to look over Sonic's shoulder. All spread out on the ground are the bodies of my friends. Each one is sprawled out in awkward positions and it makes me very thankful that I was caught, safely in Shadow's arms.

I manage to hear part of their conversation.

What are you lot doing here?" Shadow asks them.

"We needed to come to support Amy!" Cream exclaims at him, stopping her foot for affect.

"Not that it will, but if it happens again. She'll need her friends!" Rouge said hugging herself, thinking about the last time.

What does she mean _if_? I'm seven months pregnant and I'm in labour! There is no if about it, it's bound to happen. It's just waiting to happen!

I'm brought out of my thoughts as Sonic has finally gotten a doctors attention.

"My wife, she's pregnant. Urm, seven months. I don't know why, stress maybe. Just... She's about..."

I know why I'm in labour and it's not stress. It's because I don't deserve this child! I don't deserve it after keeping it a secret for so long and for nearly getting an abortion and... I'm just not meant to have children, this proves it. First Eternity and now this baby.

Why? Why is this happening and why am I thinking like that? It's not because of any of that, deep down inside I know it really is down to stress. Stress from hiding it and stress from the abortion, stress from Eternity and just stress in general!

I can't take anymore of Sonic's helpless wittering!

"SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY ALL OVER YOUR FLOOR, INFRONT OF EVERYONE IF SHE DOESN'T GET SOME GOD DAMN TREATMENT!" I yell at the doctor.

Everyone drops everything they are doing and saying and looks at me; I'm obviously causing a scene. But I don't care...

"WHAT? YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A HORMONAL PREGNANT WOMAN ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH!"

My shouting seems to be working though as I' dragged off to a private room. The contractions are still here and getting worse by the second. I can do nothing but squirm in pain.

I can do nothing until I'm fully dilated, which I'm not yet. How do I know this? Well let's just say if that nurse comes near me again to check I'm be shoving her medical card out the window, closely followed by her body. How does she know if I'm ready to give birth or not? She DOESN'T!

Has she ever been in this much pain? I bet not! Has she ever given birth? I don't think so, because if she had she could show a lot more sympathy. And can she actually measure ten centimetres? Well, I'm not fully dilated yet, so I'll take that as a NO! NO she can't!

Ow! The pain shots through me again and I automatically grab the closest thing towards me which just so happens to be Knuckles hand resting on my bed.

He yelps in pain as my grip tightens but knowing Knuckles he's got to crack a joke or two. Oh the sound of our chuckles!

"Wow Sonic, I wouldn't let her... you know... She's got a hell of a grip on her! And well we don't want your stick looking like it's been placed in water, now do we?" He starts laughing at his own joke, that no-one but Tails laughed at. Sonic too was cracking a smile before he saw I glared at him.

I wonder what the answer is to that unknown question, what hurts more... Being kicked in the balls or giving births? Maybe Knuckles would like to find out how much the first one hurts!

OW! It hurts so badly, but no one can help me. I tighten my grip again, which just so happens to be still on Knuckles wrist.

"OUCH!" He exclaims.

Sonic steps forward, "Move aside. Never let a woman do a man's job!" He says taking my hand as I squeeze it tightly. His face winces slightly but he stays stood firmly.

I'm just so angry and confused right now. I want this baby to live but I don't know if it will and I'm so sore that I can't help but lash out at him.

"A man's job? A man's job? Don't you dare go an about a man's job when I'm sat here about to give birth to your stupid child, a child that was formed because of you! I'm in so much pain that it's unbelievable. And you? You're here going on about a man's job! Well if you think you're such a MAN, you give birth to his child, because I'm going on strike!"

Not that I can really go on strike, this baby is coming and it's coming now as the nurse just confirmed.

"Ten centimetres, you're about to give birth!" She squealed out showing her happiness.

"Don't you think **I **know that?" I mumble unheard by her but obviously heard by both Sonic and Rouge's delicate ears. He hugs me close, while Rouge laughs at my attitude.

I should probably be mad at her but I too can see the funny side, thanks to her.

I look at Sonic as he wipes away the sweat forming on my brow. It's so clear that he loves me and would do anything for me; this moment and many others prove just how much we mean to each other.

"I'm sorry." I say as I'm wheeled out of the private room and into another room in which I'll give birth, he just kisses my forehead.

"Oh god, this is really happening isn't it?"

"Yeah it is! And everything will be fine." The last bit was added after he took a glimpse at my worried expression.

He may say that everything will be fine, but will it?

Amy Rose x


	36. Entry 36

**Entry 36! The birth... **  
**Hope you like this chapter! Please R&R ^U^ It'll make me happy, lol =3**

**Random facts**  
**If you were to roll a lung from a human body and out flat it would be the size of a tennis court.**  
**The name Joshua is Hebrew for 'Jesus'. **  
**Blue eyes are the most sensitive to light, dark brown the least sensitive.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

He may say that everything will be fine, but will it?

Will everything be okay? I don't know anything right now except I'm about to give birth! For the second time! And the score might be the same result as last time...

No, I won't let my baby die! It can't die on me, I simply won't let it! I'm about to give birth to a happy living baby this time...

I hope.

But that's all I can really do, hope. Hope that the birth goes well; hope that the baby is healthy. I've always thought that whenever people say they don't care about the gender they just want it to be healthy it's just so cliché but now, in this position I can do nothing but agree with them.

"Ow!" I scream out and groan. It didn't hurt this much last time! I'm in so much pain and I'm positive that there is going to be some tearing down there. But that is the least of my worries. I just want everything to be okay, like Sonic said it would.

Sonic... He's being so carrying and so reassuring, telling me that it will all be okay. I really hope he's right.

I'm finally wheeled into white room where it's all about to happen.

"Now, Mrs. Rose. How short and often are your contractions?"

"I don't know! Do you really think I'm going to count them while I'm in this much pain? How about if kick you in the balls and you tell me how short and often the throbbing takes place? Eh, is that a fair deeeeeaaaaaal..." I groan in agony. My temper disappearing underneath the mask of discomfort.

"Sonic, do something!" I yell out at my calm husband.

My calm husband! How on this earth can he be so calm? I'm suffering here because of him and all he can do is hold my hand and tell me everything will be okay! Well if everything goes okay here, I'll be strangling him before the day is up. Strangling him because of his lack of empathy.

"Okay, now you need to take deep breathes... Can you do that?" The young doctor asks me.

Yet again I can't help but reply sarcastically.

"Can you deliver a baby? Or is that ID card fake? How old are you, about 10? I want a different doctor. A more experienced one!" I demand in my state of pain.

The doctor looks stunned but goes to fulfil my wish until another contraction comes and I yell at him to come back.

"You'll do! You'll do, now get this baby out of me, ALIVE!"

He obeys me and goes to get the gas I demanded. I opted for the gas because nobody is going to get close enough t o me with a needle to give me an epidural.

He returns with my nitrous oxide and hands it to me as I forcefully snatch it out of his hands and let the laughing gas fill me body, numbing the pain slightly.

"Wow, she's almost peaceful. Do they sell N2O at chemists because it could come in handy?" Sonic joked, resulting in a small chuckle from Dr. Warren. The chuckle was cut short by a threatening glare...

He then went to lift up my hospital gown...

Deluded with the laughing gas, I kicked him swiftly in the stomach, "What the hell are you doing you pervert?"

"I'm about to deliver your baby, like you asked me to. And to do that I need to lift up the gown, okay?" The way he spoke to me made my blood boil, I'm not a five year old. But in a way I suppose I deserve it, I'm not exactly making this easy for him.

"Fine..." I mumble as Sonic squeezes my hand gently.

I return his gentle squeeze with a hard bone crunching one as I feel the baby trying to exit my womb.

"When I tell you to push I need you to..."

"Push? Yeah, I get the drift."

"Okay then, now push!"

I did as I was told while Sonic yelped in pain due to my tight grip. I apologise to him in advance for all the pain and abuse I will shout at him during this.

(20 minutes later)

"Come on, just one more big push for me now. I can the he... I can see the legs. Okay this will hurt slightly more and it will mean you have to push even harder but the baby has managed to turn itself around and it's coming out legs first, okay. Now one more big push and everything will be okay." The doctor told me in a calming tone.

I can't go through this anymore, the pain is too much and now I've got to give birth to a baby which is breech. I can't believe my luck, a premature baby and because of that its breech!

Because I'm giving birth to it, instead of having a caesarean, the head will come out last meaning there will be an increase that the risk of the umbilical cord being compressed or prolapsed is high. A compressed cord is not able to provide oxygen to the baby, what if that is the case? What if I'm not giving enough oxygen to the baby? Additionally, because the head is coming out neck first, it is less likely to mould, increasing the risk for the head to get stuck. And just as I feared, the death rate for breech babies is 4 times higher than for head first or vertex presentation babies...

"Sonic, I can't do this..." I begin to cry. He hugs me tenderly and whips away the sweat from my brow before kissing me on the lips.

"You can do this, I believe in you. And I'm not leaving your side, ever!"

He's given me the strength I need to carry on. One more push Amy, just one more push and it's all over.

I feel the baby leaving my body and I wilt down on to the bed. I have no strength left in me to sit up still. Sonic hugs me and showers me with kisses as I sit there taking in the beautiful silence...

Silence? Why is it quiet? Why can't I hear my baby crying?

My worry gives me enough strength to sit upright and look at me baby hedgehog. But there's a problem with that, where is my baby hedgehog. Why can't I hear its tiny little cries or see its cute little face. Where is my baby?

Sonic has also noticed the eerie silence that brings panic to the room.

I couldn't help myself from screaming out when I saw the tiny little bundle wrapped in blankets. But it wasn't a screech of joy...

A feeling of déjà vu washed over me as I was traumatised by the sight. Everyone in the waiting room must have heard my distressed please for my darling baby to breathe as they entered the room, panicked and wanting to comfort me but I didn't let them. I had nothing else on my mind but the tiny newborn.

Rouge and Cream huddled into their partners' chests as they cried for me. Shadow just stood there in total shock and Sonic was collapsed on his knees, praying that the sight before him wasn't happening.

Whereas I did nothing, I didn't shed a tear and I didn't whimper. I just felt numb, like this couldn't be happening.

Is life really that cruel? Was my fear trying to tell me something? Am I not destined to have children?

Amy Rose x


	37. Entry 37

**Entry 37! You do not know how much I nearly cried while writting the end of this! But once you've read it I'm sure you'll agree, it's seriously sad =(**  
**Anyway I hope you like this chapter =D Despite it's sad ending. Please R&R =3**

**_IMPORTANT:_Also, this story is coming to an end. I suspect that there will only be a few more chapters left, depending on the end.**  
**And that's where you, my fellow readers, come in. **  
**You see, I have a few different endings planned out in my I'm not sure which one I should use...**  
**So I'd be really thankful to any of you that would help me with deciding the ending.**  
**If you want to help me then please send me a PM and I'll tell you my ideas. **  
**Also you could maybe tell me some of you own ideas if you want but I'm not sure what will happen in the end yet so...**  
**Anyway sorry about that little notice and hope you enjoy the chapter... but not before...**

**Random facts**  
**The chances of you dying on the way to get your lottery tickets is greater than your chances of winning.**  
**The female pigeon cannot lay eggs if she is alone. In order for her ovaries to function, she must be able to see another pigeon.**  
**A jiffy is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. Thus the saying, I will be there in a jiffy.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

This can't be happening! It just can't be, I'll walk up soon from this horrible nightmare...I hope.

I look over at my newborn, how fragile and pale it is.

"What is it?" Sonic asks

"We don't know yet, it's most likely to be because she is premature."

She... I gave birth to another baby girl! And if a miracle doesn't occur soon, she'll be following the same path as Eternity. I can't let that happen.

The doctor and midwifes are still examining her, trying to get her to breathe but nothing is happening. Their effort seems to be in vain.

"Can... Can I hold her?" I ask them, my words coming out quiet and hoarse.

"Amy, are you sure you want to..." Sonic questions me

"Yes." I reply; I want to hold her before it is too late.

The doctor picks her up and hands her over to me as I take her in my arms.

Looking down I see a purple hedgehog with her father's green eyes. She is the female version of him, same eyes, nose and spines. She's beautiful, everything I could want in a child. But suddenly her tanned muzzle becomes tinged with blue, her tiny lips also turning this unhealthy colour. She's in my arms and the life is being sucked out of her. I only have a few seconds to name her, to love her and to tell her she'll always be in my heart. I put my index finger towards her hand and it's soon in the gentle but firm grip of my daughter's miniature hand...

But the sight of Eternity dying in my arms is soon pushed aside as I take in the appearance of this daughter, the one whose life is also vanishing in my arms.

Eternity could instantly be recognised as Sonic's daughter but this baby resembles me more. Her jade eyes are the same as mine and the tiny button nose is also the same. Her hair is a mixture of Sonic's and mine from when I was 6. Her frame is petite and brittle, due to being premature, but she is fully formed.

I cannot help but burst into floods as she places her lavender hands on my cheek with the little energy she does have. Sonic tries to take her out of my grasp but I won't let him. If she is going to die it will be here in my arms next to my heart, where she belongs.

How could the world be so cruel, taking another baby from me? Is there no mercy at all?

I can't help but remember Eternity and her death, how bad it affected me and how this is only bringing back the memories and feelings.

"She needs a name..." Shadow reminds us, in a caring tone. I smile at him as I'm too weak, both physically and mentally, showing him my best 'thank-you smile'.

I try to think of all the names I know but none of them seem suitable. I try and think of all the names I like, but none of them will suit her.

Eternity is already taken.  
Kiki, no.  
Corina, no it wouldn't suit her.  
Lavender, no too cliché.  
Hope, again too cliché

Oh this shouldn't be this hard... Her name should come naturally to me. But why isn't it? This is so frustrating, maybe I'm really not cut out to be a mother, I can't even think of a name for my child...

"Kiara." My husband says simply.

Kiara, I'm not sure. I like it but it needs to have a meaning to it...

"It means 'princess'." My companion informs us all.

Kiara. I like it.

"Kiara, do you like that name?" I ask my stunning baby. She giggles quietly but I shush her, not wanting her to use up all of her energy.

Nonetheless it doesn't matter as I feel hear her heart slow down. Wait that's not normal...

"Can you hear that?" I ask Sonic.

"No" The room replies.

I had almost forgotten my friends where here witnessing this also.

"None of you can hear it..." They look at me bamboozled.

Suddenly the heart beat stops and so does time and space. I look around at the frozen room.

My friends are comforting each other and Sonic is holding my shoulders gently, however they are frozen also. I seem to be the only one stationary.

In the corner of the room a blinding light appears, and I feel a soothing presence. It's her. My mother.

"Mum..."

"Amy, you kept he child. I always knew you'd do the right thing..."

"Then what should I do know... Mum I've rarely asked you for help, but I can't do this on my own. I don't know what to do; I'm losing her, myself and him all over again..."

"Hush, my child. Search. Search deep inside your heart for the answer, it will not come to you so you need to search. Once you've found it you'll know. Even if it takes up all your energy to find the key to life, it will be worth it. Now I can't hang around much longer, Eternity needs me."

"Where is she? Is she well?"

"She's being brought up by me, my dear, of course she is well. Now I must go, I'm sorry I couldn't hang around for long but we've both got someone waiting for us to return. Goodbye Amelia."

She was about to disappear and I had no idea if I'd ever see her again.

"Wait, will I ever see you again?"

"Yes, one day. One day in the distant future we will be reunited. But until then no we won't. I've helped you in your time of need but what lies ahead is for you to experience. Good luck, but not goodbye as we will meet again..." With that said she vanished and time started again.

My friends are unaware of what just happened but I can't clue them in yet as I've got a baby to save.

Mum was right; all I needed to do was search to find what I need to do...

Bringing her minute head up to my face, while supporting the weight of it, I kissed her on her forehead. I can fell the power draining from my own body but I won't stop until she is well. This is what my mother meant when she said, "Even if it takes up all your energy to find the key to life, it will be worth it."

Her heart beats faster as mine slows down slightly. I can feel her body becoming warm and healthy but mine is becoming flimsy. Still I won't stop; I will not allow her to die in my arms. No way will she die in my arms if I can help it!

The fluttering sensation stops and I know that she is well; she doesn't need my support anymore. She can live without my support and she is now thankfully not fighting a losing battle for her life.

I hold her in my arms and let the darkness consume me. It was all worth it to see her smile, to hear her giggle and to feel her hand press up against my chest, directly above my heart. It was worth it to know that she will live and love. That she will grow up with people who love her in return.

My darling baby, I have given you everything I can. I have given you life...

Finally the darkness consumes me as I close my eyes, the last thing I see is her sparkling eyes and the last thing I hear is her cute giggles and attempts at words. I cannot see my friends cry at my expense and I cannot hear their sobs as I descend lower into the pillow on my bed.

You have everything you deserve, Kiara! Remember I love you!

Amy Rose x


	38. Entry 38

**Entry 38 =D So I bet most of you are in total suspense *sheepish smile* Lol**

**Sorry for the wait but I still need help to figure out the ending of this =( And until then I can't really update =/**  
_**So basically help would be appreciated =P**_  
**Anyway this chapter wasn't really planned out but I couldn't help but update! ^U^**

**Random facts**  
**The United States has never lost a war when donkeys were used.**  
**In New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans every year.**  
**91% of people lie regularly. (Wow, that's a lot of people that lie!) **

**Please R&R, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Dear Diary,

The world works in mysterious ways, of that I'm positive...

Just like when I took that pregnancy test at the beginning of all this, I was positive.

It's astonishing to think of the stages of life. I mean a simple baby starts of as a tiny ovum and then it develops into a small figure with arms and feet, eyes and ears. It becomes alive and develops a beating heart.

Unless it stops breathing, like my precious darling did. Which one am I on about though? Both of my babies stopped breathing. Eternity and Kiara...

Eternity: that name sums up my baby so well. It suits her for so many reasons, one of them being that we will love her forever. We will love her for all eternity, a time which has no beginning and has no end. Eternity, it also means timelessness after death, a timeless state conceived as being experienced after death. That fits her so well, as she is dead but yet she is experiencing so much even after death. My encounter with her proved that, it proved that there is much more out. More than we can ever dream of.

But still people fear death, why is that? When we die we enter a world of peace, we have no more problems and we get to watch over our friends and family. We get to see them every day, knowing that they are or will be just fine.

But the living, it's them I feel sorry for. They have to witness and experience so much death, pain, grief and so many problems until they themselves die. And then they can live in peace, a world which knows no war!

Kiara, my little princess. Sonic choose this name and it instantly clicked. Her whole appearance is gracious and she is indeed our little princess. At least she will be if my plan worked.

I hope for her sake it does work. You see I do not care what becomes of me; I just want her to have a chance in life. To have all the opportunities she deserves.

I know at first I was devastated that I was pregnant again, but I did not want a repeat of history. I didn't want to feel all the pain again.

But I did! I felt all that pain all over again when I witnessed my breech little one suffering to breathe. When I held her in my arms the grief just over whelmed me. I knew at that moment I would do anything to save her, even if it meant risking my own life. I would have done anything to see her survive!

When I saw my mum for the first time after her death I knew that everything would work out okay or at least work out for the best.

My mum gave me the strength I needed to carry this baby; she gave me the strength I needed to give birth to this baby... And most importantly she made me want to keep her.

But then I gave birth and my fears were more like premonitions. It was as if I could predict the future with a sixth sense. Kiara couldn't breathe properly and I felt my own heart stop at the reality of it all.

Yet I had the opportunity to save her... And I took it! I don't know what will become of me! I don't know if I will be forced to die or to live. Both of them options are so welcoming but only one can come true.

Will I be forced to live on the Earth I was born? With my friends and my family? Sure I said that I feel sorry for the living, but that's only when death is in the equation. You see, we take life for granted. We think that we will live until we are old and have developed wrinkles but what about my babies, they may have had wrinkles but they were not old!

There is so much to live for, yet sometimes that's not enough...

We take what we have for granted, thinking it will last forever, or until we dispose of it. But things won't last forever, we won't last forever. Nothing will and that's a fact.

However...Death. It's a powerful word. Many fear it and many welcome it. Yet no one can really know much about it. Sure we have psychics that talk to spirits and ghosts and we have all kinds of books, documentaries etc about death. But we, as individuals, have never truly experienced death. Some of us may have had close encounters or even talked to people that have passed on. But we've never actually died!

So you see... Life is just one big game where everyone can win and everyone can lose. It's all a big game about perspective...

Amy Rose x


	39. Entry 39

****

_IMPORTANT MUST READ THIS!_

**Eeeeeeeeeee! I love this chapter and I hope you do too ^U^ It's probably my favourite one... And my longest one in this story!**  
**So I gladly present to you... Drum roll please...Entry 39!**  
**So will Amy live? Read on to find out. **  
**Now for the sad news, after this chapter there will only be one more. But I might do a few surprise one-shots based on Sonic's POV! What do you think? Tell me via PM or reviews if you want me to do the one-shots or possible even a full story based on Sonic's Pov on this ^U^ Please R&R**

**Random facts**  
**The most common time for a bank robbery is Friday, between 9 and 11 a.m. The least likely time is Wednesday, between 3 and 6 p.m.**  
**Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.**  
**Beavers can swim half a mile underwater on one gulp of air.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

So you see... Life is just one big game where everyone can win and everyone can lose. It's all a big game about perspective...

I'm at peace now, I've won then big game called life.

I, Amy Rose, have given everything just for my baby to survive. I've given everything just so my princess can survive.

And did I do it in vain? No, not at all. She will grow up and become a fine young lady. She will become something to definitely be proud of! Not that I doubt that at all. She will be loved by me and her father equally no matter what she chooses in life. I will not judge her for the choices she makes, but instead I will love her for them.

I just wish I could be with her to experience it.

Poof, just like that I'm thrown around by swirling colours, a sparkling force that I can see. I'm riding a wave of power and magic. I think I know where it will take me.

Suddenly a bright light flashes and I'm once again soaked in the darkness.

I open my eyes and sit up, looking all around me taking in everything. The sounds and sights, the aroma and touch.

The sad expressions of my friends, the cries from my baby and the silence from my husband are what I see and hear. I'm scooped up in his arms but I cannot feel the warmth given off by him, I cannot feel the tears dripping on my arms. Why is that? Why can I see them but not feel them?

Why don't I feel anything...

He leans forward slowly, about to kiss my lips. I let him for I'm too weak to resist, whenever he's around I become weak to him. His kisses and his hugs send butterflies all around my stomach but I'm afraid that won't be the case this time...

His lips touch mine and I close my eyes awaiting nothing. But that is not what I receive. A thousand volts are sent through my body as it heats up. My world is sent spinning as memories flash by, reminding me of all our precious moments... This I could feel, this I could experience!

He pulls away and sobs.

"It's not the same, it's not her... She's... S...She's so, so, so...cold!" He cries out in distress.

Although I could not feel his tears I felt his pain as he sat on the floor drowning himself in his own grief.

I could do nothing but touch my lips wanting to feel raw emotion like that again...

At least I tried to. I lifted my 'arm' up but the tired limb did not follow my command. I tried again this time with success. But instead of the vibrant pink arm I gazed upon a translucent pink upper limb.

I can't help but stare at it. My body is translucent... That's not NORMAL!

I try to get up so I can comfort Sonic and I manage to do this but when it came to comforting him, well that became a problem. I went over to hug him, hold him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay, to tell him that I am still here!

However as I kneel on the ground and wrap my arms around his blue frame, I fall crashing to the ground.

Oh could life get any better? First I have a still birth, then another one and now I can't comfort my grieving husband, who thinks I'm dead.

Then again I think it's safe to say I'm neither dead nor living at this moment in time.

I look up at Sonic just in time to see him shiver... Wait that must mean he felt something when I passed through him...

To confirm my suspicions I lift up my hand and cover his with my own.

He looks at it and then at my body over on the bed! He feels my presence; he can still feel me...

He bows his head before shaking it and bursting into tears. While he does this he also snatches away his hand and presses it to his broken heart.

Shadow leaves the group as he comes to comfort him. Right now they both need each other. Tails is needed by Cream as she cries for me. I wish I could comfort her and tell her not to cry but believe me my voice would not be heard. Tails is crying on her also.

Knuckles is also to busy controlling his weeping partner, Rouge. She is in hysterics and is shaking violently. I've never seen Rouge so distressed and I hope I never have to see her like this again as it is really disturbing. Knuckles is having a hard time controlling his own emotions and he has to comfort her as well.

But Shadow has no one, I was his best friend and now he has no-one to ease his pain. The same applies with Sonic; Tails just can't leave Cream crying no matter how much he wants to help his buddy.

Shadow kneels on the ground in the same spot I was just in. For a moment then I thought he was staring straight at me, can he feel my spirit too?

But that question is quickly pushed aside as he shakes his head then pulls Sonic in for a manly hug.

I'm not needed here, for there is nothing I can do. So I'll just go back and lie on the bed, awaiting my fate.

"Are you really going to just give up Sonic? I thought you loved her... But maybe I thought wrong..."

What the hell is Shadow doing? Does he want Sonic to kill him?

A low growl filled the room, as I frantically looked around the room with my 'eyes'.

Where are the doctors? Don't tell me they've gone to fill out paper work? If they don't stop Shadow from saying these things then there will be another set of paper work to fill in...

"JUST SHUT UP!" He snapped.

Every pair of eyes in the room looked straight at my fuming lover. They could not cry over me while this was going on...

"Oh so you don't deny it... You're just going to give up on her? And they said the romance was dead..."

"NO! The romance isn't dead, but she IS! YOU THINK I WANT THIS? YOU THINK I WANT HER DEAD?"

"Hey, Shadow pack it in! Amy has just died and you're about to start a fight. You're going on about Sonic not loving her but at least he's showing her some respect!" Rouge barked at him.

"Yes of course I love her! But it's not me that needs to love her... So stay out of this Rouge!"

"Urgh! Shadow..." Rouge was about to charge at him but was held firmly by Knuckles.

"This isn't your battle Rouge... Shadow's just upset..." He whispered gently in her ear. She calmed down slightly but her fury was still shown in her tensed body.

"Maybe you did want this..."

Oh my god! The sound of Shadow's body hitting the white wall of the hospital room echoed. He lay motionless on the floor but then slowly raised himself up onto his feet again.

"Oh, Sonic I pity you. I really do... Don't you see? Only you have the power, you have fate in the palm of your hands and you're about to throw it all away!"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" His rage was controlling him but his body was too weak to fight anymore.

"Prove it to us, 'FAKER'!" Those words filled the room, taunting each and every one of us. None of us knew what would happen next, none of us knew what Sonic's next action would be...

Sonic got up with the lingering energy he had and flew at Shadow, pinning him against the wall by his throat, cutting of his air supply.

I closed my eyes as I heard a sickening sound coming from their direction. And I hated what I saw when I opened them...

Shadow's nose was bleeding heavily and a pool of his blood covered the floor. Despite him winding Sonic up like that, in such a cruel way, this wasn't a nice sight.

Sonic was up close and personal, he was so close to Shadow that they could probably hear each others' heart beat.

The room was silent. And shock was clearly written on everyone's face, especially Tails'. He mustn't be able to believe Sonic would be so violent to someone other than Eggman.

"You think I don't love her? You think this is easy for me? You think it's a walk in the park to find out that your wife has just died in your arms? You of all people... Out of everybody in this room I thought you would understand. You lost Maria over what, 60 years ago? And you still miss her..."

"If I had the same opportunity as you, I would have taken it by now!"

"Opportunity? Seriously Shadow, I know anguish can affect how you act and everything but seriously! And do you still think I don't love her? Well do you know what..."

My heart fluttered at that moment if only for a brief second... Wait, my heart? I shouldn't be able to feel my heart...

"I LOVE HER! I, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, LOVE HER, AMY ROSE! Are you happy now, is that all I had to do make you happy? Tell you I love?"

I felt everything stop, there and then. My eye lids are becoming heavy with fatigue but I don't want to shut them. I do not want to leave this world not yet. It's too soon...

"No, Sonic, you didn't have to say that to make me happy. You had to say that to make you happy..."

"What the hell, Shadow stop messing with me and just tell me the truth... What are you plotting?"

Gasps filled the room, echoing everywhere. But three remained silent. Two of them smiled at each other, knowing the truth.

But what is the truth? The truth is Shadow knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He wasn't simply winding Sonic up. No, he was saving him.

"Hey, Shads! Long time no see. I think thanks are in order..."

He became rigid, very rigid, at the light cheery tone. His body tensed up, thinking that his mind was playing a trick on him.

But as he turned around he felt the truth jump into his arms and hug him like there's no tomorrow.

He returned the hug with just as much passion before planting a passionate kiss on truth's lips, keeping her held there for what seemed like forever.

The room was filled with tears of joy, laughter on Shadow's behalf and it was a cheery atmosphere to be in.

But truth and Sonic only had eyes for each other, everyone respected this.

That was until Sonic set the truth firmly on the ground before turning to Shadow, "You knew all along, you saved her. You saved me! Thank you, I owe you everything I have. One day I hope I can return the favour..."

He trailed off at the end, some time silence is the best words people can offer.

The blue hedgehog turned around and looked truth straight in the eyes, "You need to stop doing this to me..." He said before kissing her on the lip.

I returned the kiss with equal passion.

And simple said, "I know!" Before my friends rushed over and embraced me in their arms, it seemed as if they did not have enough though.

"Never do that again, Amy!"  
"Yeah, you scared us."  
"Yeah and life just wouldn't of been the same without you!"  
"Good to have you back, Rose."

Good to be back!

Amy Rose x


	40. The Last Entry!

***Sobs* The end chapter! **  
**I don't know if I should cry or cheer! I'm so sad that this is finished but so happy that you liked it and I came this far! **  
**But there is possibility that I could do a sequel to this... Maybe, you'll have to tell me what you think about that =D **

**Anyway I'd just like to thank:**  
**A-amy**  
**A Werehog in a box**  
**Angel-Demon1**  
**cheetahfly**  
**daneliz'**  
**I White Raven I**  
**IHeartSonAmy**  
**Rachel-1994**  
**Shadow the Hedgehog4**  
**SonAmyawsomness1**  
**Supernova-1992**  
**SwedenSpeedway**  
**Toffkat and**  
**Anyone else I've forgot! Thanks for the reviews, alerts, faves and thanks for helping this story become what it has! Without you all... ^U^ So thanks a LOT!**

**Now for my last ever random facts (for this story =D)**  
**The odds of being killed by falling out of bed are one in two million. **  
**To burn off one plain M&M candy, you need to walk the full length of a football field.**  
**Rubberbands last longer when refrigerated.**

**And now I hope you ENJOY! *cheers***

* * *

Dear Diary,

Good to be back!

Wow it's really hard to believe it's been a whole month since I 'awoke' from my slumber. It's hard to think that I could have died, yet I'm thankful that I survived. Although, it would have been really nice to be acquainted with my mother and Eternity again, but it's nice to be alive though. It's even nicer to know that I saved my little princess' life...

Kiara! What can I say about Kiara? She is so much like me, her mother. In both her personality and her appearance, it's so unreal. Without a second thought to it she would be easily be recognised as my daughter. Her fur and her eyes and her... her everything, it's so scary. It's like looking in a mirror for me, looking at my reflection.

I'm scared that she will grow up spoiled though. We don't mean to spoil her, really we don't! However it's not that easy when she nearly died! We are still fragile about that subject but that feeling will soon past. Right now we just try to live for the moment, and hope that it will all turn out well.

Sonic spoils her the most and that's an understatement. Everything she wants, everything she needs she's got it! I can't even take him out baby shopping with me without him buying nearly everything in the store... In every colour!

And what is his excuse for spoiling her? Now I quote- she has your eyes, how can I resist?- unquote! Haha, he does make me laugh. Why else did I marry him? For his charming personality? Outstanding good looks... Actually yeah, I did marry him for all those reasons and many more!

_Ring! Ring!_

Just as the phone rang Kiara started to cry, obviously the commotion has disturbed her peace.

"Sonic, get the phone! I'll tend to her." I yell out to him.

I walk into her room, a pale pink sanctuary, and head over to her cot.

Looking into it I see my eyes while looking at her tears. The very shape and colour of them remind me of what I did, how I was willing to die for her.

As soon as she catches a glimpse of me her tears stop and her tanned arms fling out and up, begging for me to hold her, cuddle her, love her.

"It's for you!" I hear Sonic yell up the stairs.

Lifting Kiara up carefully, while supporting her head, I trot down the stairs. Then I take the phone out of my husband's hand as he switches it with the 'princess' in my arms.

"Hello?"  
_Amy?  
_"Rouge? Are you okay?"_  
We need to talk..._

This doesn't sound good! Her voice is soft yet it holds a confused tone to it. I hope she is okay!

"Sure, but I'm guessing not on the phone? Do you want to come over?"  
_Yeah, if that's okay... I don't want to disturb Kiara...  
_"Don't be silly, of course it's okay. But I'll get Sonic to take her to the park..."  
_Killing two birds with one stone I see. Making Sonic take her to the park means she is happy and Sonic isn't going to bother us while we talk!  
_"Are you okay Rouge? I mean will you..."  
_I'm coming around now, Cream is with me. There's something I need to talk to you about..._

With that said she hung up, leaving me in total suspense. What is bothering her? What is the matter?

As Sonic leaves with Kiara, I find myself pondering these questions and thoughts.

But I'm cut short with my pondering when the door bell rings.

Outside Rouge and Cream are both stood; I move aside letting them in. Her eyes are all puffy and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that she's been crying.

"What's wrong, darling?" I ask her, automatically switching into my extremely caring, mothering mode. She stands there rigid as I hug her.

"I...I...I'm confused! And I don't like it!"

Okay this is making no sense to me! What could she possibly be confused about...?

"I...I just don't know what to do?" It was a mixture of a question and a statement and I didn't know how to respond to it.

Once again I repeated my question for her, "What's wrong?"

"I think that...It's possible that... I...I'm pregnant Amy!"

...

I wasn't expecting that!

"Have you done a test?"

"Yeah, three..."

Is it possible that all three of them could have been faulty?

"Do you want it?" I asked while Cream hugged her.

"Yeah, I do but...

Another voice rang out from behind me, shocking us all.

"But Knuckles doesn't know and you don't know how to tell him...Urm sorry, none of my business. I forgot Kiara's bag...I'll just go now." Sonic finished awkwardly. As lovely as he is, he does have a talent for showing up at the wrong time!

Her grabbed the baby's supply bag quickly before sheepishly heading over to the door but pausing to say one thing...

"When you do tell him can I be there to witness his expression? I mean, it's going to be priceless... Oh, urm, never mind. I can see it's a touché subje..."

His last word never left his lips as I threw a cushion at his head. He still needs to think before he speaks...

"Sorry..." I apologise for his behaviour.

But I'm faced with a laughing Rouge, clearly his words had cheered her up!

Then I had to bring them down by saying, "Don't hind it from him, trust me."

She froze and her eyes glazed over, "But...I'm scared Amy, how will he react?"

And all I can say to that is...

Here we go again!

Amy Rose x


End file.
